I have learned a valuable lesson. It is easier to stay caught up with journaling/blogging than it is to start up again after you've slacked off for a time.
I don't have the get up and go to even think about writing much today, so even a little bit is a big success.
Lester and I spoke in church yesterday. It has been a long time since I've spoken in sacrament meeting. We had 3 days notice. Not much time for me, I usually plan and agonize for a week or more and practice a gazillion times a day. I hate public speaking, but you wouldn't know it by hearing me speak in public. I've been told that you can't tell I'm nervous, at all.
Yesterday was no exception. I was a bundle of nerves, to the point of being sick to my stomach. I remember thinking to myself, breath. Don't forget to breath. Look at the audience. Stick to my script. Try not to notice the man sleeping in the back. Keep a prayer in your heart. Don't be afraid to say something not in the script if prompted. And then it was over.
Lester had a look of complete shock when I turned around. I checked my dress, I wasn't mooning the bishopric was I? Were there mascara streaks on my cheeks? Was it really bad? He answered my questions, "that was amazing!". And then he said, "you're so funny, stressing out about it and then blowing everyone away with that great talk. To think I was worried for you. Very nice job."
So what did I say? Is there a taping of it? Because I feel like 'I' didn't have much to do with it. That is the amazing part about teaching by the spirit. Sometimes all it takes is a talkative someone to be willing to try and think up something so-so to say but be open to saying whatever the spirit prompts.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
Friday, October 31, 2008
Thinking Outloud
Can be dangerous. And cathartic all at the same time.
I love living on the edge. But I can't finish this post right now because I can't remember where I was headed with this one.
I love living on the edge. But I can't finish this post right now because I can't remember where I was headed with this one.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
That's a big fat. . Maybe
But probably, hopefully, a Yes.
My husband has been looking for a new job since mid-July. Lots and lots of applications, interviews and possibilities have come down to no job, yet.
He got a temporary/part time job working for one of his previous employers. It came to light, as he was working there, that they would be looking for a new company to contract out their driving to. Lester was the first one they thought of. They insisted that he draw up a business plan and think about bidding for the contract. We crunched some numbers and figured out that it'd be a great opportunity. So while we are knee deep in paper work, estimates, researching insurance companies, gas expenses, writing up client contracts, rules and on and on. The start date, should we get the bid, is January 2009.
Then, a letter comes in the mail.
One of the places he applied for in July, has finalized their employment selection and my husband is on the list. They want him to finish all the tests they require. It is looking promising that he may be offered this job, to start in January.
We don't want to stop the bidding process because the other job is not guaranteed and we don't want to stop the testing because the contract is not guaranteed. But considering the amount of work and time that has gone into both jobs, once we go ahead in both processes there isn't any turning back. On either job.
The contract job offers some flexibility, SOME (as the owner you always work the most). But no insurance benefits. The second job offers benefits, but has a pretty set schedule (probably 4/10's and alternate weekends).
We've decided that if offered both, we'll take it. And I will be the primary worker for the contract work. That is a scary proposition for 3 reasons. 1. It's a big BIG responsibility. 2. The hours will require the boys be in day care for 6 hours a day, possibly less depending on the structured job schedule. 3. Stress. It's a huge responsibility and my stress management skills are almost zero.
I've always wanted to be a stay home mom. Always. But I was also raised by a mom who worked days, I was completely fine as a latch key kid and I wouldn't change any of that. At all. But still, the thought of finding someone to watch them so early in the morning (I'd leave to pick up clients at 6:30-7 am) and be done around 10 and then have to go again around 3pm and be finished by 5pm. Plus, I would be in charge of the paper work, scheduling, routes and management type stuff, which is why I'd have to add in another hour or so at the end of both driving shifts.
When would I do all the house stuff? Laundry? Cooking? Coupon shopping? and really am I unreasonable to think I need some down time? Are scrapbooking, jewelry making and friends going to go by the wayside? And exercise? Seriously I'll go stir crazy nuts without some exercise.
Then again all this worrying could be for nothing. What if they both say no and we are still without a permanent job?
While the possibilities of two yes's is scary, the possibility of two no's is scarier.
My husband has been looking for a new job since mid-July. Lots and lots of applications, interviews and possibilities have come down to no job, yet.
He got a temporary/part time job working for one of his previous employers. It came to light, as he was working there, that they would be looking for a new company to contract out their driving to. Lester was the first one they thought of. They insisted that he draw up a business plan and think about bidding for the contract. We crunched some numbers and figured out that it'd be a great opportunity. So while we are knee deep in paper work, estimates, researching insurance companies, gas expenses, writing up client contracts, rules and on and on. The start date, should we get the bid, is January 2009.
Then, a letter comes in the mail.
One of the places he applied for in July, has finalized their employment selection and my husband is on the list. They want him to finish all the tests they require. It is looking promising that he may be offered this job, to start in January.
We don't want to stop the bidding process because the other job is not guaranteed and we don't want to stop the testing because the contract is not guaranteed. But considering the amount of work and time that has gone into both jobs, once we go ahead in both processes there isn't any turning back. On either job.
The contract job offers some flexibility, SOME (as the owner you always work the most). But no insurance benefits. The second job offers benefits, but has a pretty set schedule (probably 4/10's and alternate weekends).
We've decided that if offered both, we'll take it. And I will be the primary worker for the contract work. That is a scary proposition for 3 reasons. 1. It's a big BIG responsibility. 2. The hours will require the boys be in day care for 6 hours a day, possibly less depending on the structured job schedule. 3. Stress. It's a huge responsibility and my stress management skills are almost zero.
I've always wanted to be a stay home mom. Always. But I was also raised by a mom who worked days, I was completely fine as a latch key kid and I wouldn't change any of that. At all. But still, the thought of finding someone to watch them so early in the morning (I'd leave to pick up clients at 6:30-7 am) and be done around 10 and then have to go again around 3pm and be finished by 5pm. Plus, I would be in charge of the paper work, scheduling, routes and management type stuff, which is why I'd have to add in another hour or so at the end of both driving shifts.
When would I do all the house stuff? Laundry? Cooking? Coupon shopping? and really am I unreasonable to think I need some down time? Are scrapbooking, jewelry making and friends going to go by the wayside? And exercise? Seriously I'll go stir crazy nuts without some exercise.
Then again all this worrying could be for nothing. What if they both say no and we are still without a permanent job?
While the possibilities of two yes's is scary, the possibility of two no's is scarier.
Life as I Know it
If you knew your life was to change, drastically, in exactly 3 months time, what would you do with the time in your life as you know it?
I've been thinking a lot about changes. A whole LOT.
I'm always nervous to share what I learned during conference, because I sincerely believe that I hear most, that which I need to learn. I've shared many a thought on talks only to have the person I'm speaking to say, "I don't recall hearing that". Having said that, I found that there were a lot of talks on change, trial and strength in the face of adversity and ways to find peace amidst it all.
There have been times in my life when I've thought, I will look back on this hour/day/month/year and think, "wow! I survived and look at what I learned from it". But in reality, most times I look back and think, "that wasn't that bad". Part of it, I believe, is that my worrying made it more difficult. But the bigger part, I believe, is that through the struggling I grew. The me that looks back on the trial is stronger than the me, facing the trial. I wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't grown through the trial.
I am in the middle of a trial and changing period. Part of me is looking back at what I've come through and is cheering. Another part of me is looking ahead at what is still before me and straining to see an end. Is there an end??
I believe there is an end in sight, but it is also the beginning point of something new. Something I'm feeling a little afraid of. I'm not quite sure how or what I need to learn between here and there. Part of me wants to spend the next 3 months pretending I don't know what is coming. Part of me wants to start adjusting to my new reality. Part of me wishes I could go back to the way things were before, but realizes that while it seemed nice then, "The best is yet to be".
I have a heck of a To-Do list. Things I may not have time for in the near future. Things I've put off for tomorrow, only to realize tomorrow is already full. I've been reading Elder Perry's talk on Simplicity. Simplifying takes work, but oh what stress it relieves.
My life isn't where I imagined it would be a year ago and a year from now I can only try to imagine where it may end up. I only wish I could know where that is, will it be more of the same? (as in the past 12 months) something more secure? Please let it be more secure. Please tell me that I'll be strong enough to get through. Please tell me I'll be glad I did it.
I've been thinking a lot about changes. A whole LOT.
I'm always nervous to share what I learned during conference, because I sincerely believe that I hear most, that which I need to learn. I've shared many a thought on talks only to have the person I'm speaking to say, "I don't recall hearing that". Having said that, I found that there were a lot of talks on change, trial and strength in the face of adversity and ways to find peace amidst it all.
There have been times in my life when I've thought, I will look back on this hour/day/month/year and think, "wow! I survived and look at what I learned from it". But in reality, most times I look back and think, "that wasn't that bad". Part of it, I believe, is that my worrying made it more difficult. But the bigger part, I believe, is that through the struggling I grew. The me that looks back on the trial is stronger than the me, facing the trial. I wouldn't be the same person if I hadn't grown through the trial.
I am in the middle of a trial and changing period. Part of me is looking back at what I've come through and is cheering. Another part of me is looking ahead at what is still before me and straining to see an end. Is there an end??
I believe there is an end in sight, but it is also the beginning point of something new. Something I'm feeling a little afraid of. I'm not quite sure how or what I need to learn between here and there. Part of me wants to spend the next 3 months pretending I don't know what is coming. Part of me wants to start adjusting to my new reality. Part of me wishes I could go back to the way things were before, but realizes that while it seemed nice then, "The best is yet to be".
I have a heck of a To-Do list. Things I may not have time for in the near future. Things I've put off for tomorrow, only to realize tomorrow is already full. I've been reading Elder Perry's talk on Simplicity. Simplifying takes work, but oh what stress it relieves.
My life isn't where I imagined it would be a year ago and a year from now I can only try to imagine where it may end up. I only wish I could know where that is, will it be more of the same? (as in the past 12 months) something more secure? Please let it be more secure. Please tell me that I'll be strong enough to get through. Please tell me I'll be glad I did it.
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Untitled
I've not posted in nearly a week and a half, on any of my blogs.
I've been at a loss for words and not because things aren't happening, they are. I hate to sound cryptic but lots of the things that are happening are not great. I've been feeling down and discouraged and with great (as in big, not 'super terrific fabulous' great) reasons.
My brain is full, full, full. I have so many thought swirling around my head that I'm afraid to open my mouth. Afraid to open the faucet for fear of creating a flood. A flood of non-contained thoughts, unfinished or resolved feelings and worst of all a tidal wave of emotion. It's all in there. I'm just trying to find a way to let out a slow leak. And I haven't found one yet.
I've been at a loss for words and not because things aren't happening, they are. I hate to sound cryptic but lots of the things that are happening are not great. I've been feeling down and discouraged and with great (as in big, not 'super terrific fabulous' great) reasons.
My brain is full, full, full. I have so many thought swirling around my head that I'm afraid to open my mouth. Afraid to open the faucet for fear of creating a flood. A flood of non-contained thoughts, unfinished or resolved feelings and worst of all a tidal wave of emotion. It's all in there. I'm just trying to find a way to let out a slow leak. And I haven't found one yet.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Personal Assistant Needed
A: Because my brain has a tendency to block out painful memories.
B: I have no ability to say no, on my own accord without feeling the need to endlessly justify my cause. Which totally rules out the reason of, just don't wanna do it.
C:My scheduling style would put Supergirl in a tizzy.
Exibit A & B- I am doing an Edible Gifts demonstration/class for Super Saturday. This Saturday. I'm pretty sure I was sucked into this by reason of exhibit B. I have no idea what was announced as to the details of my class, I'm in the nursery on Sunday and we never get announcements. I do know that no money was collected to cover class expenses. I nearly pulled my sign up sheet and class from the roster. The room was full of ladies when I went in the first time and when it was empty again, there were 4 names on my sign up sheet. I could have pulled the plug then, but again B comes into action.
Then I was told that I could have budget money for my class if we would make enough to provide dessert for the luncheon. A ha, funding that didn't come from my empty pocket, a big +. I said okay.
I've been scrambling all week to figure out what we are going to do. I finally decided on doing something that could be demonstrated in class and then the class attendees would help make multiples for dessert. We'll also be focusing on presentation, so wrapping edibles for gift giving. That's my favorite part and class members will all get copies of the recipes as well.
Today I was talking to my friend Linda. She said she was really surprised that I would sign up to do this again. Again, I asked?? Yes, again. She reminded me that I'd done this once before, worked feverishly on preparing lots of time consuming treats and candies and then had all that work walk out in the pockets and piled on mini plates of women who had never paid for the class in the first place. I must've cried, but I really don't remember. I do remember that I had a class fee for that one and turned in receipts as it turned out to be a free for all.
I *just* asked a friend who attends RS and she said it was sold as a demonstration only and that WE (the demonstration attendees) would be providing dessert with our newly found skills. Hurray!
I need to learn to say no, and mean it and NOT feel guilty that I can't say yes to everything.
I need to learn from this and remember so I don't end up with a stress cold and horrible memories of Super Saturday. (I've yet to attend one that I wasn't in charge of a class at)
I need to find a realistic schedule and realize what doesn't fit, can't be done.
B: I have no ability to say no, on my own accord without feeling the need to endlessly justify my cause. Which totally rules out the reason of, just don't wanna do it.
C:My scheduling style would put Supergirl in a tizzy.
Exibit A & B- I am doing an Edible Gifts demonstration/class for Super Saturday. This Saturday. I'm pretty sure I was sucked into this by reason of exhibit B. I have no idea what was announced as to the details of my class, I'm in the nursery on Sunday and we never get announcements. I do know that no money was collected to cover class expenses. I nearly pulled my sign up sheet and class from the roster. The room was full of ladies when I went in the first time and when it was empty again, there were 4 names on my sign up sheet. I could have pulled the plug then, but again B comes into action.
Then I was told that I could have budget money for my class if we would make enough to provide dessert for the luncheon. A ha, funding that didn't come from my empty pocket, a big +. I said okay.
I've been scrambling all week to figure out what we are going to do. I finally decided on doing something that could be demonstrated in class and then the class attendees would help make multiples for dessert. We'll also be focusing on presentation, so wrapping edibles for gift giving. That's my favorite part and class members will all get copies of the recipes as well.
Today I was talking to my friend Linda. She said she was really surprised that I would sign up to do this again. Again, I asked?? Yes, again. She reminded me that I'd done this once before, worked feverishly on preparing lots of time consuming treats and candies and then had all that work walk out in the pockets and piled on mini plates of women who had never paid for the class in the first place. I must've cried, but I really don't remember. I do remember that I had a class fee for that one and turned in receipts as it turned out to be a free for all.
I *just* asked a friend who attends RS and she said it was sold as a demonstration only and that WE (the demonstration attendees) would be providing dessert with our newly found skills. Hurray!
I need to learn to say no, and mean it and NOT feel guilty that I can't say yes to everything.
I need to learn from this and remember so I don't end up with a stress cold and horrible memories of Super Saturday. (I've yet to attend one that I wasn't in charge of a class at)
I need to find a realistic schedule and realize what doesn't fit, can't be done.
Thursday, October 9, 2008
A tag: Long live Random Thoughts
A List of Eights
8 TV Shows I Love to Watch
1. Biggest Loser
2. Dancing with the stars
3. Life
4. CSI (Las Vegas and I won't watch after Grisam and Warrick leave)
5. Amazing Race
6. Good things Utah- Especially when my Cousin is on, she's famous (She's the Thanksgiving Point girl!) I'll also watch Studio 5 if she is scheduled to be on that day.
7. Law and Order SVU
8. I cannot think of any more current favorites. I do wish Ed would come back, I loved that show!
8 Things that Happened Yesterday
1. Had a friend over and talked grown up stuff (like the whole time) while the boys were all at school.
2. Started and almost finished my new favorite necklace. It's gonna be gorgeous. Browns, taupe, ivory and it's all pearl. Kind of like this one.
3. I cleaned up toys, approximately 982 of them. If you count picking up the same toy 100 times. Which I do.
4. Ran my butt off. Apparently only figuratively speaking as the scale has not budged in 5 weeks.
5. Talked to a great friend on the phone.
6. Styled my hair for the first time in almost a week.
7. Cleaned out the fridge
8. Drank a gallon of water
8 Favorite Places to Eat
1. Home
2. Sweet Tomatoes
3. Cafe Rio
4. Rumbi Island Grill
5. The Roof (if I'm thinking extravagantly)
6. California Pizza Kitchen (I've enjoyed it the two times I've been)
7. I'm pretty ashamed that I can't think of any more favorite places to eat. We do not eat out often, that is apparent. I would like to try Bombara (in SLC)
8. Cold stone. I like to eat at coldstone. Does having ice cream for dinner count?
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To
1. Preschool and free time to make more jewelry tomorrow
2. Running my butt off tomorrow. And doing 200 situps, lunges and push ups. Seriously.
3. Super Saturday: Being OVER
4. Caleb and Eli playing together, without bloodshed
5. Eating butternut squash from the garden
6. Christmas
7. My Cousin Spencer coming home from his mission
8. Thanksgiving Dinner (with the Mayberry's?)
8 Things on My Wish List
1. Sell 5 bracelets, 2 necklaces and 10 pair of earrings by Christmas
2. That I could wake up 30 pounds lighter
3. Our business proposal will be picked up and signed under contract
4. A maid
5. an assertive sales rep to get my jewelry into a few nice hotel gift shops or boutiques
6. to fit in my college jeans by Christmas
7. Visit Fiji-I'd love to serve a mission there with Lester
8. Nice, faithful, successful adult children.
8 People I Tag
You know I'm not going to do this. But if you want to play along, tell me in the comments and I'll come visit you...
8 TV Shows I Love to Watch
1. Biggest Loser
2. Dancing with the stars
3. Life
4. CSI (Las Vegas and I won't watch after Grisam and Warrick leave)
5. Amazing Race
6. Good things Utah- Especially when my Cousin is on, she's famous (She's the Thanksgiving Point girl!) I'll also watch Studio 5 if she is scheduled to be on that day.
7. Law and Order SVU
8. I cannot think of any more current favorites. I do wish Ed would come back, I loved that show!
8 Things that Happened Yesterday
1. Had a friend over and talked grown up stuff (like the whole time) while the boys were all at school.
2. Started and almost finished my new favorite necklace. It's gonna be gorgeous. Browns, taupe, ivory and it's all pearl. Kind of like this one.
3. I cleaned up toys, approximately 982 of them. If you count picking up the same toy 100 times. Which I do.
4. Ran my butt off. Apparently only figuratively speaking as the scale has not budged in 5 weeks.
5. Talked to a great friend on the phone.
6. Styled my hair for the first time in almost a week.
7. Cleaned out the fridge
8. Drank a gallon of water
8 Favorite Places to Eat
1. Home
2. Sweet Tomatoes
3. Cafe Rio
4. Rumbi Island Grill
5. The Roof (if I'm thinking extravagantly)
6. California Pizza Kitchen (I've enjoyed it the two times I've been)
7. I'm pretty ashamed that I can't think of any more favorite places to eat. We do not eat out often, that is apparent. I would like to try Bombara (in SLC)
8. Cold stone. I like to eat at coldstone. Does having ice cream for dinner count?
8 Things I Am Looking Forward To
1. Preschool and free time to make more jewelry tomorrow
2. Running my butt off tomorrow. And doing 200 situps, lunges and push ups. Seriously.
3. Super Saturday: Being OVER
4. Caleb and Eli playing together, without bloodshed
5. Eating butternut squash from the garden
6. Christmas
7. My Cousin Spencer coming home from his mission
8. Thanksgiving Dinner (with the Mayberry's?)
8 Things on My Wish List
1. Sell 5 bracelets, 2 necklaces and 10 pair of earrings by Christmas
2. That I could wake up 30 pounds lighter
3. Our business proposal will be picked up and signed under contract
4. A maid
5. an assertive sales rep to get my jewelry into a few nice hotel gift shops or boutiques
6. to fit in my college jeans by Christmas
7. Visit Fiji-I'd love to serve a mission there with Lester
8. Nice, faithful, successful adult children.
8 People I Tag
You know I'm not going to do this. But if you want to play along, tell me in the comments and I'll come visit you...
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Time Killer
Tagged by Cheryl. The other queen of random.
Anyway, here's 7 MORE random facts about me. Because I feel like typing but need a little direction. And why wouldn't you want to know more about me?
1. I love math. Love it more than is probably healthy. My brain loves numbers and equations. I took extra math in both high school and college, just for fun. And because the cutest football/soccer player in HS sat behind me in math. Both years, all year. I loved that teacher.
2. I enjoy organizing. But only if I don't have to. I try to organize before it gets to the 'have to' stage so that it is still fun.
3. My name is Samoan. And for that reason alone, I always felt like a bigger part of me was meant to be an Island girl. Unfortunately my tanning abilities remind me that I'm still a translucent white girl with a polynesian name.
4. I loved my husband before we ever met in person.
5. I over analyze everything. I preplan conversations and agonize over nerdy things I say (which weren't planned) afterward. Sometimes for days.
6. I have a 3 year supply of laundry soap in my garage. AT least 3 years worth, possibly more.
7. I am a pretty awesome chef. Like the best on the planet, so says my 7 year old.
Seven people I would like to tag for this Random Meme: Whoever wants to can. But I'm not gonna make ya!
Anyway, here's 7 MORE random facts about me. Because I feel like typing but need a little direction. And why wouldn't you want to know more about me?
1. I love math. Love it more than is probably healthy. My brain loves numbers and equations. I took extra math in both high school and college, just for fun. And because the cutest football/soccer player in HS sat behind me in math. Both years, all year. I loved that teacher.
2. I enjoy organizing. But only if I don't have to. I try to organize before it gets to the 'have to' stage so that it is still fun.
3. My name is Samoan. And for that reason alone, I always felt like a bigger part of me was meant to be an Island girl. Unfortunately my tanning abilities remind me that I'm still a translucent white girl with a polynesian name.
4. I loved my husband before we ever met in person.
5. I over analyze everything. I preplan conversations and agonize over nerdy things I say (which weren't planned) afterward. Sometimes for days.
6. I have a 3 year supply of laundry soap in my garage. AT least 3 years worth, possibly more.
7. I am a pretty awesome chef. Like the best on the planet, so says my 7 year old.
Seven people I would like to tag for this Random Meme: Whoever wants to can. But I'm not gonna make ya!
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Random Bits
1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes. Especially in my summer lemon salad. Delish!
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope, but once when I was pregnant I dreamed I was trying to quit smoking and couldn't. I kept telling everyone I was craving a cigarette. Scariest part, I could smell cigarette smoke in my dream and totally thought it was real. I had to have my husband remind me that I wasn't a smoker. He was none to happy about being woken at 3 am.
3. Do you own a gun? Not me personally.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Ice and more ice. Matter of fact forget the drink and bring me a cup of slightly wet ice.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? No
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them, if I don't think about it too much.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? This one that I sang in the Ward Christmas Program the ONE year I sang with them. I love it so, but I can't remember the name.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water
9. Can you do push-ups? Uh, yeah. Remember last Wednesday and Friday, I had to do 200 of them? My back and shoulders and arms have just started to forgive me.
10. What is your favorite movie? I don't have a current one. When I was 12 I rented Troop Beverly Hills every Friday for 6 months. And then in college Julie and I watched Fools Rush In like every Friday and Saturday and Sunday and Monday for like 3 months straight.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring. But I don't always wear it. I also have lots of 2nd favorite pieces too.
12. Favorite hobby? Blogging and jewelry making and cooking and scrapbooking and organizing and and and exercising.
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? Um no. Most days I'm the mean un-fun mom
14. Do you have ADD? No. Yes. What was the question? See #12 I think yes, how else would I explain my lack of ability to stick to one task long enough to finish? Unless it counts that I usually stop when someone interrupts and needs something else and I forget what I was doing previously and find some other half finished thing to work on.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? My lack of trust in my own opinions.
16. What’s your middle name? Renae
17. Name three thoughts at this moment: What am I making for dinner? How many scouts will come today? Why am I typing on my blog instead of making dinner and getting ready for the scouts?
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: 70 cent chocolate chips! (seriously! Albertsons when you buy 10 bags)
19. Current worry right now? If I make jewelry and list it on Etsy, will people buy it???? Do I trust USPS enough to put my business deliveries in their hands?
21. Current hate right now? (hey! Where was question #20?) Aunt Flo. I'll agree with Cheryl on both accounts
22. Favorite place to be? With good friends/family.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I can't remember!
24. Where would you like to go? Fiji, Australia and/or New Zealand, followed by Samoa
25. Name three people who will complete this? No idea. Three people with time on their hands? Or three people with NO time on their hands? Like me?
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Anyone
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Turquoise and leopard print. Seriously. With purple pants. I still haven't changed out of my workout clothes. Good thing though I've been running around all day.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I would surely fall right out of bed. I prefer 1000 thread count cotton
29. Can you whistle? Yep
30. Favorite color? I love every color. Especially RED and purple
31. Would you be a pirate? Aside from the stealing, sure they have great treasure chests of jewelry
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? John Mayer, waiting on the world (to change) great acoustics in the shower
33. Favorite girl’s name? Savannah
34. Favorite boy’s name? Jeremiah
35. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing
36. Last thing (Person) that made you laugh? Elijah wearing a neck full of our lanyard samples
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Mickey Mouse
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Once, while attending Culinary School, I nearly lost my right thumb to a chainsaw while doing an ice sculpture.
39. What is your favorite snack? Cheese and water.
40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? Have a 'cheat' meal.
41. Who is your loudest friend? I dunno? Maybe it's me.
42. How many dogs do you have? Two. A welsh corgi named Sydney and a big black retriever named Ratu (Fijian for Big Chief)
43. Does someone have a crush on you? My husband. He thinks I'm a babe.
45. What is your favorite book? (where was #44?) Too tough to answer. So many factors.
46. What is your favorite candy? Homemade caramels or homemade fudge (particularly candy cane, coconut with almonds, caramel pecan and cookies and cream)
47. What is your favorite sports team? Cougars
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Families can Be together Forever
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Wow! This is the closest I've come to falling off the bed without actually falling!
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope, but once when I was pregnant I dreamed I was trying to quit smoking and couldn't. I kept telling everyone I was craving a cigarette. Scariest part, I could smell cigarette smoke in my dream and totally thought it was real. I had to have my husband remind me that I wasn't a smoker. He was none to happy about being woken at 3 am.
3. Do you own a gun? Not me personally.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Ice and more ice. Matter of fact forget the drink and bring me a cup of slightly wet ice.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? No
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them, if I don't think about it too much.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? This one that I sang in the Ward Christmas Program the ONE year I sang with them. I love it so, but I can't remember the name.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water
9. Can you do push-ups? Uh, yeah. Remember last Wednesday and Friday, I had to do 200 of them? My back and shoulders and arms have just started to forgive me.
10. What is your favorite movie? I don't have a current one. When I was 12 I rented Troop Beverly Hills every Friday for 6 months. And then in college Julie and I watched Fools Rush In like every Friday and Saturday and Sunday and Monday for like 3 months straight.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring. But I don't always wear it. I also have lots of 2nd favorite pieces too.
12. Favorite hobby? Blogging and jewelry making and cooking and scrapbooking and organizing and and and exercising.
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? Um no. Most days I'm the mean un-fun mom
14. Do you have ADD? No. Yes. What was the question? See #12 I think yes, how else would I explain my lack of ability to stick to one task long enough to finish? Unless it counts that I usually stop when someone interrupts and needs something else and I forget what I was doing previously and find some other half finished thing to work on.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? My lack of trust in my own opinions.
16. What’s your middle name? Renae
17. Name three thoughts at this moment: What am I making for dinner? How many scouts will come today? Why am I typing on my blog instead of making dinner and getting ready for the scouts?
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: 70 cent chocolate chips! (seriously! Albertsons when you buy 10 bags)
19. Current worry right now? If I make jewelry and list it on Etsy, will people buy it???? Do I trust USPS enough to put my business deliveries in their hands?
21. Current hate right now? (hey! Where was question #20?) Aunt Flo. I'll agree with Cheryl on both accounts
22. Favorite place to be? With good friends/family.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I can't remember!
24. Where would you like to go? Fiji, Australia and/or New Zealand, followed by Samoa
25. Name three people who will complete this? No idea. Three people with time on their hands? Or three people with NO time on their hands? Like me?
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Anyone
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Turquoise and leopard print. Seriously. With purple pants. I still haven't changed out of my workout clothes. Good thing though I've been running around all day.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I would surely fall right out of bed. I prefer 1000 thread count cotton
29. Can you whistle? Yep
30. Favorite color? I love every color. Especially RED and purple
31. Would you be a pirate? Aside from the stealing, sure they have great treasure chests of jewelry
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? John Mayer, waiting on the world (to change) great acoustics in the shower
33. Favorite girl’s name? Savannah
34. Favorite boy’s name? Jeremiah
35. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing
36. Last thing (Person) that made you laugh? Elijah wearing a neck full of our lanyard samples
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Mickey Mouse
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Once, while attending Culinary School, I nearly lost my right thumb to a chainsaw while doing an ice sculpture.
39. What is your favorite snack? Cheese and water.
40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? Have a 'cheat' meal.
41. Who is your loudest friend? I dunno? Maybe it's me.
42. How many dogs do you have? Two. A welsh corgi named Sydney and a big black retriever named Ratu (Fijian for Big Chief)
43. Does someone have a crush on you? My husband. He thinks I'm a babe.
45. What is your favorite book? (where was #44?) Too tough to answer. So many factors.
46. What is your favorite candy? Homemade caramels or homemade fudge (particularly candy cane, coconut with almonds, caramel pecan and cookies and cream)
47. What is your favorite sports team? Cougars
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Families can Be together Forever
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Wow! This is the closest I've come to falling off the bed without actually falling!
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Self Doubt
Dangit. It sneaks in and seems to wait for a weak moment.
Waiting for that moment when you give it a millimeter of crawl space to get inside your head, once there it breeds like wild fire. Burning it's way through every accomplishment and positive thought you worked so hard to earn. There is usually no way to put out the flames, only hope that you put all the important stuff in the compartment labled fire-proof. And then you spend a good portion of your time trying to recover all you lost and build on that which was safe, because acknowledging strengths is like a giant stepping block to rebuilding weaknesses.
Depression related hormones or the lack there of can fuel the fire, not today thank goodness. But ouch! I've got smoke coming out my ears and tears in my eyes (if only I could find a way syphon them back inside my head they could help with the flames).
Waiting for that moment when you give it a millimeter of crawl space to get inside your head, once there it breeds like wild fire. Burning it's way through every accomplishment and positive thought you worked so hard to earn. There is usually no way to put out the flames, only hope that you put all the important stuff in the compartment labled fire-proof. And then you spend a good portion of your time trying to recover all you lost and build on that which was safe, because acknowledging strengths is like a giant stepping block to rebuilding weaknesses.
Depression related hormones or the lack there of can fuel the fire, not today thank goodness. But ouch! I've got smoke coming out my ears and tears in my eyes (if only I could find a way syphon them back inside my head they could help with the flames).
Holy Smokes
If I don't return by tomorrow, someone please check the treadmill. I may be underneath it by the end of the workout.
On tap for today:
• 25 Push Ups
• 25 Sit Ups
• 25 Lunges
• 400 Meter Run
Repeat cycle 8 times
Umm....How on earth?? They just doubled the reps for sit ups and push ups and added in lunges (I'll be doing 200 of each!) Don't be thinking that the repeat 8 times got by on me.
On tap for today:
• 25 Push Ups
• 25 Sit Ups
• 25 Lunges
• 400 Meter Run
Repeat cycle 8 times
Umm....How on earth?? They just doubled the reps for sit ups and push ups and added in lunges (I'll be doing 200 of each!) Don't be thinking that the repeat 8 times got by on me.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Random Thoughts. . .with direction
I have been posting some comments to a blog I love to visit the writer asks thought provoking questions, I've been answering and realized I wanted to keep those thoughts where I could find them. So I'm going to cut and paste and put them here too. I may or may not add in a brief synopsis of the questions posted and I may or may not expound upon my thoughts immediately but I do need to keep them and have them to read again. Thanks Cheryl for making me think.
On Waiting for Blessings and Answered Prayers
9/21-Oh boy can I say amen to the waiting. I've been 'in waiting' (not the pregnant kind) for a few certain blessings and prayers to be answered for what seems like forever.
And every time I start to feel like I'm not being heard the answer has come loud and clear, "I know what you need and I'm working on it." In the mean time I'm learning so much, I've realized that in the waiting periods of life, I've grown the most and gained the most trust for my Heavenly Father and his plan for my life. And occasionally I've been granted an exceptional amount of 'keep me busy work' to help pass the time.
I was released from YW's 3 years ago, I was so sad. I discovered I was pregnant the day of our last Girl's Camp visit. And I knew it was time for something different.
I didn't get a calling until 4 months ago. That is such a long period to go without a calling (for me) but it was necessary and helpful and I had lots of opportunities to serve. Then, I was given Nursery and Cub Scouts all in the same Sunday, Yikes!
On Depression and Blogging the bad times
It's a fine line between sympathy, for a miserable illness that makes you feel nutty ,and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. A place that for me only gets deeper the longer I allow myself to stay.
As a depressed person, I'm not as clearly able to see that line and waltzing right over it is a cinch.
Being able to explain away those feelings makes you see clearly what in your minds eye is often, too often a jumbled up mess. Thinking out loud to a friend be it online or in person can help make sense of those things.
And for those of us who love you too, it's venting, it's thinking out loud, it's trying to figure out what all those thoughts are doing to your emotional health. It is not complaining at all.
I think that if most people knew what depression felt like there would be more empathy and understanding and less judgment and criticism. And that in turn would make it easier to deal with the depression monster.
On Waiting for Blessings and Answered Prayers
9/21-Oh boy can I say amen to the waiting. I've been 'in waiting' (not the pregnant kind) for a few certain blessings and prayers to be answered for what seems like forever.
And every time I start to feel like I'm not being heard the answer has come loud and clear, "I know what you need and I'm working on it." In the mean time I'm learning so much, I've realized that in the waiting periods of life, I've grown the most and gained the most trust for my Heavenly Father and his plan for my life. And occasionally I've been granted an exceptional amount of 'keep me busy work' to help pass the time.
I was released from YW's 3 years ago, I was so sad. I discovered I was pregnant the day of our last Girl's Camp visit. And I knew it was time for something different.
I didn't get a calling until 4 months ago. That is such a long period to go without a calling (for me) but it was necessary and helpful and I had lots of opportunities to serve. Then, I was given Nursery and Cub Scouts all in the same Sunday, Yikes!
On Depression and Blogging the bad times
It's a fine line between sympathy, for a miserable illness that makes you feel nutty ,and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. A place that for me only gets deeper the longer I allow myself to stay.
As a depressed person, I'm not as clearly able to see that line and waltzing right over it is a cinch.
Being able to explain away those feelings makes you see clearly what in your minds eye is often, too often a jumbled up mess. Thinking out loud to a friend be it online or in person can help make sense of those things.
And for those of us who love you too, it's venting, it's thinking out loud, it's trying to figure out what all those thoughts are doing to your emotional health. It is not complaining at all.
I think that if most people knew what depression felt like there would be more empathy and understanding and less judgment and criticism. And that in turn would make it easier to deal with the depression monster.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Muscles I didn't know I had
Are screaming out at me, "how could you forget us!". They aren't injuries, just forgotten muscles remembering how it feels to be knock down, sweat-out, pushed to the limit, tired. The miraculous thing occurs when I stretch and have a smart breakfast; my energy returns and surpasses that of a day without exercise.
I'm on POST survival training week 3. I am already feeling stronger, lighter and faster even if the scale is not on my side. I finished today's workout in 49 minutes, flat.
I'm on POST survival training week 3. I am already feeling stronger, lighter and faster even if the scale is not on my side. I finished today's workout in 49 minutes, flat.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Fortune Cookie Wisdom
I love fortune cookies, not because they taste great but because the words inside always seem to apply. It could be that the creators are great at generalized advice, wisdom and thoughts or it could be that I read into things way too much. Or it could be neither and it was imperative that I eat Chinese food the Saturday before I was approached to do Market Day.
The fortune inside put my mind on the track of willing to try something new and potentially 'scary'.
It Read: A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why ships are built.
My husband said, "That couldn't have been more perfect for you, you need to do something 'scary' because you have the ability you just have to put it out there."
The fortune inside put my mind on the track of willing to try something new and potentially 'scary'.
It Read: A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why ships are built.
My husband said, "That couldn't have been more perfect for you, you need to do something 'scary' because you have the ability you just have to put it out there."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
3 hours 15 minutes 26 seconds
That's exactly how long it took me to finish today. I forgot to stop the stopwatch. I started late. Did one round of 50's and half my run. Had to get the elementary kid to school. Go get some 90 cent oatmeal and 40 cent boxes of granola bars (Albertsons Quaker sale!) . Then I got two more kids to school. Then I finally made my way back downstairs and climbed on the treadmill. Ran .75 mile. Did another round of 50's (squats, sit ups, push ups) back on the tread mill for a mile and done. I was dripping with sweat and the craziest part? I LOVED it!
My mp3 player is broken so my extra special thanks go out to Christy and Lauren for the awesome music playlists on their blogs. Our downstairs computer is right by the treadmmill, I loaded their pages and had inspiring music through the whole workout. And extra inspiration from Lauren's amazing figure transformation. She looks hot! And I can tell she's been working her tail off.
My mp3 player is broken so my extra special thanks go out to Christy and Lauren for the awesome music playlists on their blogs. Our downstairs computer is right by the treadmmill, I loaded their pages and had inspiring music through the whole workout. And extra inspiration from Lauren's amazing figure transformation. She looks hot! And I can tell she's been working her tail off.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Kick my Can Workout-Week 2
I was slightly sore last week. Not terribly so. I was feeling good. Wimpy but good.
This morning was rough! The workout is exactly the same as far as numbers go, they're just squished into 2 intervals instead of 4. That means 50 squats (!) 50 push ups (!!) 50 sit ups (!!!!!!) and then 1 mile run. Rinse. Repeat. It took me 54:09 to complete. Too much of that time was spent mentally whining about 50! 50??? Yes 50 of everything, all at once! My abs are so weak, 50 sit ups in a row threatened to get the better of me. Instead, I just thought about the next 5 and I did it! 5 at a time.
This morning was rough! The workout is exactly the same as far as numbers go, they're just squished into 2 intervals instead of 4. That means 50 squats (!) 50 push ups (!!) 50 sit ups (!!!!!!) and then 1 mile run. Rinse. Repeat. It took me 54:09 to complete. Too much of that time was spent mentally whining about 50! 50??? Yes 50 of everything, all at once! My abs are so weak, 50 sit ups in a row threatened to get the better of me. Instead, I just thought about the next 5 and I did it! 5 at a time.
Friday, September 5, 2008
It's a madhouse around here
Go check out why.
I'm hosting another giveaway to celebrate. Don't forget to leave a comment to be entered to win some fun jewelry prizes!
I'm hosting another giveaway to celebrate. Don't forget to leave a comment to be entered to win some fun jewelry prizes!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Cadet Survival Training
That may sound daunting. And it is. I just got a kick butt workout routine that lasts 16 weeks. It's the training program the POST puts all potential police cadets through. I am on week 1. I will follow the regimen Monday/Wednesday/Friday and occasionally Saturday (make-up day or later, as a test day). I'll continue to do my turbo jam on the other two days of the week, because it's fun and every workout schedule has to allow for fun, once in a while. Plus it's a great workout, burns close to 1000 calories/hour.
This week: 25 air squats, 25 push ups, 25 sit ups, 50ft broad jumps, run 800meters (.5 mile) REPEAT 4 times. You keep your start to finish time and later on check your fitness level by running the first week routine and checking your time against the first day. My time 58:46. It was a killer, but I lived! I have laundry tomorrow and have to do stairs 6 times, at least. It'll be the true test of soreness.
I'm curious if the Survival training refers to only the tough 'survive' the 16 weeks or by the time you live through the 16 weeks you are said to be able to survive anything.
This week: 25 air squats, 25 push ups, 25 sit ups, 50ft broad jumps, run 800meters (.5 mile) REPEAT 4 times. You keep your start to finish time and later on check your fitness level by running the first week routine and checking your time against the first day. My time 58:46. It was a killer, but I lived! I have laundry tomorrow and have to do stairs 6 times, at least. It'll be the true test of soreness.
I'm curious if the Survival training refers to only the tough 'survive' the 16 weeks or by the time you live through the 16 weeks you are said to be able to survive anything.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
T is for Tuesdays and Turbo Jam
I have a fun routine, Tuesday's and Thursday's we meet up with some friends and do Turbo Jam (Cardio party 3, for those wondering). It is so much fun. The boys get to run around and play with other kids and the mom's get some stress-busting, sweat-dripping, fat-burning, booty shakin', kick-butt cardio! I LOVE it!
And the boys love playing with MoMo as they call him.
And the boys love playing with MoMo as they call him.
Monday, September 1, 2008
A step in the right direction
A whole mile of 'em.
I went running this morning. The air was crisp and clean. The temperature perfect. My resolve, focused.
I have mapped out some local streets into 1, 1.5, 2, 3 and 5 mile runs. I decided to go the 1.5, it could easily be modified to a 1 if the dark clouds in the distance threatened to rain on my parade, so to speak.
I saw so many cool things.
First, a neighbor returning from her run. She inspires me that age does not dictate anything but a number if you let it.
Second, another neighbor walking, She is so sincere, caring and sensitive. She says she loves everyone, during her testimony, and she lives it.
Next I saw a street lined with US Flags. Beautiful sight. It reminded me of the rows and rows of flags lining the streets of Sugar City when we went for my cousins funeral. He was killed during 9/11. Such a touching tribute. I'm glad it started sprinkling, my tears were able to blend right in.
My thoughts were interrupted by a ferocious attack dog, he noticed me from the porch and came charging at me. Lucky for me he was attached to a cord attached to the banister. And his 5.5pound self wasn't strong enough to free him, although his determination may have been.
The next thing I noticed made me laugh. A shopping cart, parked protectively under the stairwell of an apartment. I wonder if the owner's name was written on it?
As I came to the deciding point, 1 or 1.5 miles I noticed a huge black cloud. The black cloud told me I wasn't running fast enough and I had better pick it up or I'd never get home mostly dry. The cloud sprinkled, as if testing my will. I ran. I named the cloud Jillian, after my favorite biggest loser trainer. Jillian meant business. I picked up the pace and ran, she meant run faster. So I did. I have never made such good time on .5 mile. I got safely to the porch and rain started to fall fast and hard, I knocked. Who locked me out? I knocked again. Still no one let me in.
I ran for the spare key. I got totally soaked. As I ran to return it, the hail started to pelt me. Wow. Jillian wasn't kidding around. It rained and hailed like the sky was falling for about 15 minutes. I would've looked like a drenched rat if I'd stayed on the 1.5 mile course. Thanks Jillian for kicking my can home!
I went running this morning. The air was crisp and clean. The temperature perfect. My resolve, focused.
I have mapped out some local streets into 1, 1.5, 2, 3 and 5 mile runs. I decided to go the 1.5, it could easily be modified to a 1 if the dark clouds in the distance threatened to rain on my parade, so to speak.
I saw so many cool things.
First, a neighbor returning from her run. She inspires me that age does not dictate anything but a number if you let it.
Second, another neighbor walking, She is so sincere, caring and sensitive. She says she loves everyone, during her testimony, and she lives it.
Next I saw a street lined with US Flags. Beautiful sight. It reminded me of the rows and rows of flags lining the streets of Sugar City when we went for my cousins funeral. He was killed during 9/11. Such a touching tribute. I'm glad it started sprinkling, my tears were able to blend right in.
My thoughts were interrupted by a ferocious attack dog, he noticed me from the porch and came charging at me. Lucky for me he was attached to a cord attached to the banister. And his 5.5pound self wasn't strong enough to free him, although his determination may have been.
The next thing I noticed made me laugh. A shopping cart, parked protectively under the stairwell of an apartment. I wonder if the owner's name was written on it?
As I came to the deciding point, 1 or 1.5 miles I noticed a huge black cloud. The black cloud told me I wasn't running fast enough and I had better pick it up or I'd never get home mostly dry. The cloud sprinkled, as if testing my will. I ran. I named the cloud Jillian, after my favorite biggest loser trainer. Jillian meant business. I picked up the pace and ran, she meant run faster. So I did. I have never made such good time on .5 mile. I got safely to the porch and rain started to fall fast and hard, I knocked. Who locked me out? I knocked again. Still no one let me in.
I ran for the spare key. I got totally soaked. As I ran to return it, the hail started to pelt me. Wow. Jillian wasn't kidding around. It rained and hailed like the sky was falling for about 15 minutes. I would've looked like a drenched rat if I'd stayed on the 1.5 mile course. Thanks Jillian for kicking my can home!
Monday, August 18, 2008
Enough Complaining!
I'm finished with the whining. And I've posted new jewelry over at the bead drawer. A little at a time never hurt anyone. I have to remind myself I cannot do it all rightnow, no way no how!
Sunday, August 17, 2008
WHAT have I done!?
I was all for this jewelry selling bit. Excited actually. Now I'm starting to get into the nitty gritty of it and I have a headache all the time!
I loved accounting in High School. I did bookkeeping for Rite Aid drugstore while I was in high school. They had a lead bookkeeper that was teaching me the ropes. I loved it.
I love organizing and keeping track of things, I have spreadsheets for beads I've bought. I'm so behind though it is making my head spin. I have the stress of back logging the beads I've bought before business, hurrying to do the ones I've bought recently (under the name of the business) and I told myself I have to do all this BEFORE I make anymore jewelry.
I seriously need to post some pictures and list on Etsy. I think that's what I'm supposed to do. I thought about selling off my blog but I think more people would feel comfortable buying from me on Etsy. With an actual shopping cart and shipping included. Aye Caramba!
I'm still certain that I want to do this but I worry that I'm trying to do to much all at once. Also as soon as I sit down to the computer to do ANY sort of 'work' the kids are at eachothers throats and my patience goes out the window!
I am toying with the idea of keeping bead inventory in a notebook that can travel with me, after I get all the computer invoice information typed in. I don't know what to do. Wasn't this supposed to be fun? Will it ever be fun again? Or is that business? Work work work!
Separately and without repercussion all the aspects of this business are fun, but now it has a lot more meaning. The IRS would have to see receipts, books well kept and inventory managed to agree that it is a hobby turned business.
I need a business advisor, or an accountant or a beader who successfully turned their hobby into a business, or All of the above to help me get direction before I'm so off the path I feel like abandoning the whole idea!
I loved accounting in High School. I did bookkeeping for Rite Aid drugstore while I was in high school. They had a lead bookkeeper that was teaching me the ropes. I loved it.
I love organizing and keeping track of things, I have spreadsheets for beads I've bought. I'm so behind though it is making my head spin. I have the stress of back logging the beads I've bought before business, hurrying to do the ones I've bought recently (under the name of the business) and I told myself I have to do all this BEFORE I make anymore jewelry.
I seriously need to post some pictures and list on Etsy. I think that's what I'm supposed to do. I thought about selling off my blog but I think more people would feel comfortable buying from me on Etsy. With an actual shopping cart and shipping included. Aye Caramba!
I'm still certain that I want to do this but I worry that I'm trying to do to much all at once. Also as soon as I sit down to the computer to do ANY sort of 'work' the kids are at eachothers throats and my patience goes out the window!
I am toying with the idea of keeping bead inventory in a notebook that can travel with me, after I get all the computer invoice information typed in. I don't know what to do. Wasn't this supposed to be fun? Will it ever be fun again? Or is that business? Work work work!
Separately and without repercussion all the aspects of this business are fun, but now it has a lot more meaning. The IRS would have to see receipts, books well kept and inventory managed to agree that it is a hobby turned business.
I need a business advisor, or an accountant or a beader who successfully turned their hobby into a business, or All of the above to help me get direction before I'm so off the path I feel like abandoning the whole idea!
I'm Finished!
I cannot believe that I read 4 books, twilight through breaking dawn in less than 2 weeks. I LOVED it! I love the way it ended. Reading the reviews for 1 star leave me thinking "huh?". I'll probably read it again and again. Only slower.
I had a few questions that didn't really get answered, some I'm okay with not knowing. But seriously how did they get around that 1 week a month thing. There was never any mention that Edward avoided her especially during any time. Maybe it wasn't a necessary detail, but he's a vampire, it presents a problem. So I'm left wondering.
It's funny, I've got my Dad reading them. To be able to talk about something ,like this, with him is a new thing. It was always my younger sister that could relate to him on movies and books, not me. It is so hard to talk to him without giving stuff away. I kind of feel like I just read one huge book broken down into easier to carry chapters, it's hard to separate what I learned in each book.
Great story. Great Author. I'm excited to check out the Host.
I had a few questions that didn't really get answered, some I'm okay with not knowing. But seriously how did they get around that 1 week a month thing. There was never any mention that Edward avoided her especially during any time. Maybe it wasn't a necessary detail, but he's a vampire, it presents a problem. So I'm left wondering.
It's funny, I've got my Dad reading them. To be able to talk about something ,like this, with him is a new thing. It was always my younger sister that could relate to him on movies and books, not me. It is so hard to talk to him without giving stuff away. I kind of feel like I just read one huge book broken down into easier to carry chapters, it's hard to separate what I learned in each book.
Great story. Great Author. I'm excited to check out the Host.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Check Check Check
I can check things off my list. Hurray!
*finished eclipse (started breaking dawn)
*business licensing is taken care of
*bought some more beads (this adds to my list, at least 4 more bracelets on the brain and earrings galore and pictures to take)
*submit picture ideas for bead trends
New thoughts
*possibly look at boutiques and hotels for selling options for jewelry (am I really considering this? Oy!)
*find a jewelry display apparatus
*prioritize
*fold 2 loads of laundry, post haste
*finished eclipse (started breaking dawn)
*business licensing is taken care of
*bought some more beads (this adds to my list, at least 4 more bracelets on the brain and earrings galore and pictures to take)
*submit picture ideas for bead trends
New thoughts
*possibly look at boutiques and hotels for selling options for jewelry (am I really considering this? Oy!)
*find a jewelry display apparatus
*prioritize
*fold 2 loads of laundry, post haste
Monday, August 11, 2008
Fffffjlkejilmmmmpppp- Brain Dump
I've heard of Overwhelmed and Underwhelmed but like is there such thing as being just whelmed?
I have a gazillion things on my mind. Lots of things to say but as soon as I sit down everything just turns to mush. It's list time.
*Jewelry Lots of it, I took 289 pictures this weekend. I need to post them.
*I got a request for some jewelry submissions for the jan/09 issue. seriously. A request?!
*I have to know how Eclipse ends. Today. But then how will I resist Breaking Dawn?
* There is a load of laundry spilling out of the boys closet as I type. Start it. Fold the one in the clean basket.
*Lester is out of salsa! he NEEDS me to make more. His life may depend on it.
*Hoses. I have to keep moving the hoses around. We have irrigation water today.
*Giveaway prizes must be mailed. I have one last one sitting on the desk.
*I have ideas for 6 or so bracelets rattling around my head. I wish I were a better pencil artist so I could 'save' the idea for later, before I lose it.
*baby clothes. I missed the jbf sale AGAIN. I am not keeping them around for the next one. Gymboree stuff can go on Ebay the rest needs a home.
*speaking of Ebay I have some Stila make up that I want to list, great brushes. AWESOME brushes and perfect gorgeous colors. I have too many of each.
*business cards. I have to find a place to print them.
*jewelry packaging, I have my idea now to find a supplier.
*business licensing needs to be finished. This friday off thing is throwing a wrench in my plans. I need to place an order but I need my retail/sales tax ID to do it.
*acquire an accounting ledger book. I'm doing this right. But maybe I don't want to know that I spend more on supplies than I make on sales. I certainly cringe at the thought of recording all my bead spending habits. And what about all the stuff I already have? How do I expense it out without receipts and and and and that reminds me that I haven't recorded purchases and bead prices in my database (that I started when it was only a hobby, OCD) in 3 months.
*Fudge. I need to make some as a thank you gift. But which flavor? Should be easy enough, but it totally isn't.
*PTA stuff. I'm going to be in charge of teacher appreciation this year. There is a surprise, I could be in charge of the pre school luncheon. But I don't know and I haven't been contacted and I don't know who to call.
*Scouts. I'm totally on my own now. I keep telling myself we should take summer 'off' and wait until we're back in the swing of things. But summer is also perfect for doing outside stuff in the middle of the day.
I have a gazillion things on my mind. Lots of things to say but as soon as I sit down everything just turns to mush. It's list time.
*Jewelry Lots of it, I took 289 pictures this weekend. I need to post them.
*I got a request for some jewelry submissions for the jan/09 issue. seriously. A request?!
*I have to know how Eclipse ends. Today. But then how will I resist Breaking Dawn?
* There is a load of laundry spilling out of the boys closet as I type. Start it. Fold the one in the clean basket.
*Lester is out of salsa! he NEEDS me to make more. His life may depend on it.
*Hoses. I have to keep moving the hoses around. We have irrigation water today.
*Giveaway prizes must be mailed. I have one last one sitting on the desk.
*I have ideas for 6 or so bracelets rattling around my head. I wish I were a better pencil artist so I could 'save' the idea for later, before I lose it.
*baby clothes. I missed the jbf sale AGAIN. I am not keeping them around for the next one. Gymboree stuff can go on Ebay the rest needs a home.
*speaking of Ebay I have some Stila make up that I want to list, great brushes. AWESOME brushes and perfect gorgeous colors. I have too many of each.
*business cards. I have to find a place to print them.
*jewelry packaging, I have my idea now to find a supplier.
*business licensing needs to be finished. This friday off thing is throwing a wrench in my plans. I need to place an order but I need my retail/sales tax ID to do it.
*acquire an accounting ledger book. I'm doing this right. But maybe I don't want to know that I spend more on supplies than I make on sales. I certainly cringe at the thought of recording all my bead spending habits. And what about all the stuff I already have? How do I expense it out without receipts and and and and that reminds me that I haven't recorded purchases and bead prices in my database (that I started when it was only a hobby, OCD) in 3 months.
*Fudge. I need to make some as a thank you gift. But which flavor? Should be easy enough, but it totally isn't.
*PTA stuff. I'm going to be in charge of teacher appreciation this year. There is a surprise, I could be in charge of the pre school luncheon. But I don't know and I haven't been contacted and I don't know who to call.
*Scouts. I'm totally on my own now. I keep telling myself we should take summer 'off' and wait until we're back in the swing of things. But summer is also perfect for doing outside stuff in the middle of the day.
Still Reading
And I seriously can't stop. Nor do I want to.
I finished this yesterday. Not bad considering I bought it Friday.
And I'm more than half way through this (I'm on p. 428). I bought it Saturday at Costco.
All things considered, I'm really glad I am a fast reader with speedy comprehension skills and that I waited until the last book was out to start reading the saga. I probably would have gone nuts waiting so long to read the next book.
There are things about the story that puzzle me but I'll wait until I'm finished to see if they are resolved.
I finished this yesterday. Not bad considering I bought it Friday.
And I'm more than half way through this (I'm on p. 428). I bought it Saturday at Costco.
All things considered, I'm really glad I am a fast reader with speedy comprehension skills and that I waited until the last book was out to start reading the saga. I probably would have gone nuts waiting so long to read the next book.
There are things about the story that puzzle me but I'll wait until I'm finished to see if they are resolved.
Thursday, August 7, 2008
I've been reading
And avoiding laundry to do so. Okay not completely. But enough that I now have a large pile to fold and another large pile to wash.
And this is the book I couldn't put down.
I loved it. And that is saying a lot, because as my sister can attest I'm not one for 'science fiction'. I'm so behind. I usually am, especially on books. I wait until everyone I know says they are good before I crack the spine (figuratively speaking, that term hurts Megan's ears) I am on page 50 of the first Harry Potter book. Indefinitely.
I have 3 more of the twilight books to read before I see my cousins next month. They'll be talking about nothing else and I don't want them to ruin the surprise.
And this is the book I couldn't put down.
I loved it. And that is saying a lot, because as my sister can attest I'm not one for 'science fiction'. I'm so behind. I usually am, especially on books. I wait until everyone I know says they are good before I crack the spine (figuratively speaking, that term hurts Megan's ears) I am on page 50 of the first Harry Potter book. Indefinitely. I have 3 more of the twilight books to read before I see my cousins next month. They'll be talking about nothing else and I don't want them to ruin the surprise.
Wednesday, July 30, 2008
Giveaway! Giveaway! Giveaway!
I may have mentioned that I like to make jewelry. I do. And I've set up a blog where I'll be posting just jewelry related things, including prices for those interested in buying something. For now I'm planning to post pictures and prices of pieces and then if someone emails with interest to buy I'll do a reserved listing in my bead shop on etsy, where they can go and buy and have the paypal options and feedback/convo tools.
So my first post is going up and it's for some jewelry. I'm giving away a pearl bracelet and a pair of earrings to match. Go check it out. Leave a comment, post about it on your blog, refer a friend and earn a ticket in the drawing hat for each. Good Luck!
GO HERE to enter!
So my first post is going up and it's for some jewelry. I'm giving away a pearl bracelet and a pair of earrings to match. Go check it out. Leave a comment, post about it on your blog, refer a friend and earn a ticket in the drawing hat for each. Good Luck!
GO HERE to enter!
Monday, July 28, 2008
Fashion Police
They must smell fear. And they know where to find those needing 'assistance' because I came across this post, without even looking. Closet Clean-out for women in their 30's.
I'm not 30, yet. But it is so close. Some of the items on the list never existed in my closet, but those that have and still do are very many in number. It's time to kick them outta the closet. I can't help but feel guilty for sending them to DI, where someone just like me may pick them up as a cloak reflecting the mirage of teenagerdom.
I'm not 30, yet. But it is so close. Some of the items on the list never existed in my closet, but those that have and still do are very many in number. It's time to kick them outta the closet. I can't help but feel guilty for sending them to DI, where someone just like me may pick them up as a cloak reflecting the mirage of teenagerdom.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
I MUST sleep!
Because I've promised two girls and three boys that we'll make the trek to the Pioneer Day Parade up town. It starts at 9. We're riding the train at 8am and walking 5 or 10 city blocks to hopefully find a spot to sit or stand and watch the parade go by. And then walk with the whole entire city on the same tiny sidewalk and hope to get a spot to sit or stand on one of 5 or 6 train cars and be home before everyone dies of starvation.
I am totally packing the camera. Just for proof that I went and lived to tell about it.
I am totally packing the camera. Just for proof that I went and lived to tell about it.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Cave Dweller Emerges
To say, Mee ga ooga storooga. Palooga chekooga mee ga blogooga!
Or as we say in English, I'm working on a jewelry selling venture. I have set up a new blog here. AND have business cards on order. I also have a header and an avatar on Etsy, for extra beads and custom jewelry orders. Kind of scary. But I haven't been hiding away without reason.
Or as we say in English, I'm working on a jewelry selling venture. I have set up a new blog here. AND have business cards on order. I also have a header and an avatar on Etsy, for extra beads and custom jewelry orders. Kind of scary. But I haven't been hiding away without reason.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
When the going gets tough, the tough go
Crazy!
Shopping. In their own home!
Running! Or more truthfully, jogging with walking bursts throughout!
Treasure hunting, under beds!
Cleaning!
Kickboxing!
Dancing!
For a Picnic with friends!
Web surfing!
Scripture reading!
Garden watering!
Weeding!
Praying!
Journaling!
Brainstorming. For more stress relieving activities!
And hopefully never again, to the Carb Cupboard!
Shopping. In their own home!
Running! Or more truthfully, jogging with walking bursts throughout!
Treasure hunting, under beds!
Cleaning!
Kickboxing!
Dancing!
For a Picnic with friends!
Web surfing!
Scripture reading!
Garden watering!
Weeding!
Praying!
Journaling!
Brainstorming. For more stress relieving activities!
And hopefully never again, to the Carb Cupboard!
Thursday, July 10, 2008
We're officially Oldy-Weds
Yep. Lester and I have been married 9 years, today. We celebrated by going to Ikea to get one last thing for the bathroom re-do we've been doing all week. And then we had dinner at a great place ,with a view, (thanks Gabe) The Ikea Cafe. And then after hiking through the miles of store walk path at a neck break speed (Lester almost won the speed walking contest), we had ice cream at Coldstone. I had Lemon Sorbet and will probably dream of it on sugar-free days. I gotta get a recipe for making my own in the vitamix! Just in case they don't have any on my 'cheat days'.
Wednesday, July 9, 2008
Half Made
Do you ever have those days where everything you do gets half done?
I'm in the middle of one.
I could walk into any room in the house and find something that was left half done. I have great intentions when I start, and then someone starts fighting/making a mess/wants to play outside/is hungry/needs me to hold a piece of the bathroom sink/take the kids out of the bathroom/go to Lowes (AGAIN)/make a phone call, and on and on. So the project is left. And when I finish referring a fight/cleaning a mess/putting on shoes/going outside/feeding/assembling/entertaining/shopping/talking/etc. etc. I am in a different room and I see a project that needs finishing. One that I started hours ago. So I start the attempt to finish and the whole cycle starts over again.
I feel so scattered in my thinking, half hearted on my attempts (because who knows when I'll finish) and almost near the point of wondering 'why bother?' . I need a boost of energy and a houseful of secret elves to help me plow through the clutter and laundry. Instead I'm stuck with a de-caff root beer and a houseful of slightly taller less neat disaster creating children. Oops gotta run, there has been a toy-nado sighting, toy-nado Eli just passed through their bedroom in a hurry.
I'm in the middle of one.
I could walk into any room in the house and find something that was left half done. I have great intentions when I start, and then someone starts fighting/making a mess/wants to play outside/is hungry/needs me to hold a piece of the bathroom sink/take the kids out of the bathroom/go to Lowes (AGAIN)/make a phone call, and on and on. So the project is left. And when I finish referring a fight/cleaning a mess/putting on shoes/going outside/feeding/assembling/entertaining/shopping/talking/etc. etc. I am in a different room and I see a project that needs finishing. One that I started hours ago. So I start the attempt to finish and the whole cycle starts over again.
I feel so scattered in my thinking, half hearted on my attempts (because who knows when I'll finish) and almost near the point of wondering 'why bother?' . I need a boost of energy and a houseful of secret elves to help me plow through the clutter and laundry. Instead I'm stuck with a de-caff root beer and a houseful of slightly taller less neat disaster creating children. Oops gotta run, there has been a toy-nado sighting, toy-nado Eli just passed through their bedroom in a hurry.
Tuesday, July 8, 2008
Batten down the Hatches
I think winds of change are blowing my direction. I can't decide if I should stay above ground and enjoy the breeze or run for shelter from a tornado.
My mind is so full of thoughts I don't dare start for fear of opening a floodgate that knows no bounds.
My mind is so full of thoughts I don't dare start for fear of opening a floodgate that knows no bounds.
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Christmas in July
For me it was. I got a package in the mail. A package full of gorgeous prizes, from a very thoughtful friend. I love the bag. It's so me. And it's handmade. And a cute little notebook to go in it. And crayons, in a crayon roll. SO cool. Thanks Julie. It totally made me smile!
Monday, June 30, 2008
I am a klutz
Once ,when we lived in St. George, I fell on a treadmill. I didn't really fall off, because there was a big glass window right behind it. So I tripped and fell and was thrown against a giant glass window. I am SO relieved it didn't break. There were a dozen or so people there (it was a tiny Gold's Gym) and they all saw and heard it happen. Mortifying. I vowed to always always always be more than cautious on a treadmill. Also I never wore those orange and red and yellow plaid pants out of the house again. Major identifying piece of clothing.
Well when you don't learn, history repeats itself. This time it was at a huge Gold's Gym less than 5 miles from where I grew up and frequented by high schoolmates often. I was working out with a friend. I started the treadmill and started walking, then I started running. Then a guy friend of HERS came over and started talking to both of us. I have this really bad habit of stepping off the belt when I'm not paying attention. When I talk and walk that happens a lot. So I step off a little, the belt squeals. I decide to stand on the sides that aren't moving. Then my water bottle gets knocked off and slides down the running belt. I hopped off to pick it up. After retrieving my water bottle I stepped one foot onto the back end of the treadmill, right onto the moving belt, I stepped very far up on the belt. Look Ma, no hands. Face meet the treadmill. Body meet the floor. TaLaisa, meet the rest of the gym. They were all looking at me. I stood up, walked up to the treadmill, and got right back on. This time it wasn't moving. The guy talking to my friend had turned it off. I learned from riding horses, get thrown off get right back on! I was shaking. My friends were laughing. I felt like an idiot. My pants were torn, *I had treadmill grease on my nose (NO one told me!) But I finished that workout.
* That reminds me of a clumsy time in High school, I was rollerblading with my cute neighbor. We stopped at his house and skated around the driveway while we finished our conversation. I started to roll very slowly, I was tired. I Rubbed my eye and the next thing I knew I was face down on the concrete. My hands didn't even try to break my fall. My wrist guards were on the grass, I wasn't going fast enough to be dangerous (I thought). I had hit a part of the driveway that was sinking as I hit the risen ridge of the next section of driveway I was stopped completely. And met quickly with a hard fall.
I asked my friend if I had any cuts on my face, I felt like I'd skinned my nose. He said, "nope you look fine, do you feel okay?". I was only mortified. But tried to play it cool. When I got home I had grease from the pavement on my forehead and cheeks and a red skinned nose.
Well when you don't learn, history repeats itself. This time it was at a huge Gold's Gym less than 5 miles from where I grew up and frequented by high schoolmates often. I was working out with a friend. I started the treadmill and started walking, then I started running. Then a guy friend of HERS came over and started talking to both of us. I have this really bad habit of stepping off the belt when I'm not paying attention. When I talk and walk that happens a lot. So I step off a little, the belt squeals. I decide to stand on the sides that aren't moving. Then my water bottle gets knocked off and slides down the running belt. I hopped off to pick it up. After retrieving my water bottle I stepped one foot onto the back end of the treadmill, right onto the moving belt, I stepped very far up on the belt. Look Ma, no hands. Face meet the treadmill. Body meet the floor. TaLaisa, meet the rest of the gym. They were all looking at me. I stood up, walked up to the treadmill, and got right back on. This time it wasn't moving. The guy talking to my friend had turned it off. I learned from riding horses, get thrown off get right back on! I was shaking. My friends were laughing. I felt like an idiot. My pants were torn, *I had treadmill grease on my nose (NO one told me!) But I finished that workout.
* That reminds me of a clumsy time in High school, I was rollerblading with my cute neighbor. We stopped at his house and skated around the driveway while we finished our conversation. I started to roll very slowly, I was tired. I Rubbed my eye and the next thing I knew I was face down on the concrete. My hands didn't even try to break my fall. My wrist guards were on the grass, I wasn't going fast enough to be dangerous (I thought). I had hit a part of the driveway that was sinking as I hit the risen ridge of the next section of driveway I was stopped completely. And met quickly with a hard fall.
I asked my friend if I had any cuts on my face, I felt like I'd skinned my nose. He said, "nope you look fine, do you feel okay?". I was only mortified. But tried to play it cool. When I got home I had grease from the pavement on my forehead and cheeks and a red skinned nose.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Murphy's Law
And the misbehaving sewing machine, always seem to wreck my creative streak!!!
Friday night I had plans. Big plans for my sewing projects. I had 8 baby shirts to applique and sew. Then I would finish the wrap skirt I was making for myself and if I still had steam, I'd work on that baby sling and then make a necklace to wear with my new skirt on Sunday. And while I was at it, I'd do a load of laundry, run the dishwasher, listen to a book on tape and plan next week's dinner menu. And go up and do the Attic and go down and do the Cellar, I can do them both together Cinderella (or maybe it should be WonderWoman!) LOL. Sometimes I forget about the reality of time and the need for sleep.
I didn't get very far. The sewing machine must've felt like I do sometimes when I go 110% on the weight lifting after 4 weeks off. Exhausted, sore, and grouchy. It was all too much, too soon. I was forced to stop after outlining 3 more shirts. The sewing machine didn't have the patience to help me with the one thing I could actually wear. And I only completed one whole shirt. The others need another couple of stitches with another thread color. When they're done I'll have some nice baby gift starters, just watch another form of Murphy's Law will get me and all the people I'll need gifts for will have Boys.
Friday night I had plans. Big plans for my sewing projects. I had 8 baby shirts to applique and sew. Then I would finish the wrap skirt I was making for myself and if I still had steam, I'd work on that baby sling and then make a necklace to wear with my new skirt on Sunday. And while I was at it, I'd do a load of laundry, run the dishwasher, listen to a book on tape and plan next week's dinner menu. And go up and do the Attic and go down and do the Cellar, I can do them both together Cinderella (or maybe it should be WonderWoman!) LOL. Sometimes I forget about the reality of time and the need for sleep.
I didn't get very far. The sewing machine must've felt like I do sometimes when I go 110% on the weight lifting after 4 weeks off. Exhausted, sore, and grouchy. It was all too much, too soon. I was forced to stop after outlining 3 more shirts. The sewing machine didn't have the patience to help me with the one thing I could actually wear. And I only completed one whole shirt. The others need another couple of stitches with another thread color. When they're done I'll have some nice baby gift starters, just watch another form of Murphy's Law will get me and all the people I'll need gifts for will have Boys.
Make-up Fiend
As long as I can remember, I've had a fascination with make-up. A deep abiding fascination. My earliest memories involve wandering around the cosmetics aisles of the Smith's grocery store. I would go to do the weekly shopping with my parents and the minute we walked in the door they would go one way and I would go the other. I would study the colors, brands and especially the sale priced items, the entire time my parents shopped. When they were ready to check out, they knew where to find me.
I spent a lot of my allowance on make-up. We were allowed to do a make-up day one day a week. Always on Friday. Even then I had a lot of make-up for one day a week 'play time'. I also had neighbor friends who knew about make-up day and would come play that day hoping to be made up. I loved to pretend I was a make-up artist, I'd paint anyone who'd hold still long enough. I had aspirations of doing make-up on movie stars. But I'd settle for working at Glamour Shots or Cover Look (remember those places??? tons of make-up, feather boa's, Big BIG hair, and pictorial proof of it all?).
As I've aged my collection has grown and my skill level improved. I even allow myself to dream about being a make-up artist, maybe working in a salon or at a make-up counter in a department store. For now, I'm happy working to cover the dark circles under my eyes and adding a little color and variety to my look. I love to do make-up 'lessons' for a Young Women activity or do make-overs at Girls Night Out, or girls night in.
Last night I googled mineral make-up and found these awesome tutorials, by a girl in England, on Youtube. I watched almost 2 hours worth of her tutorials, after the boys were asleep. I was in awe. She must have a desk covered in pots of colorful powders, because I don't remember seeing her use the same color more than once, with a few exceptions. You have to see for yourself. Make-up genius.
She has over 150 videos of different make-up looks. Lots of fun. Some are a bit dramatic for a stay at home mom, day look but you get the idea. I love this one!
I spent a lot of my allowance on make-up. We were allowed to do a make-up day one day a week. Always on Friday. Even then I had a lot of make-up for one day a week 'play time'. I also had neighbor friends who knew about make-up day and would come play that day hoping to be made up. I loved to pretend I was a make-up artist, I'd paint anyone who'd hold still long enough. I had aspirations of doing make-up on movie stars. But I'd settle for working at Glamour Shots or Cover Look (remember those places??? tons of make-up, feather boa's, Big BIG hair, and pictorial proof of it all?).
As I've aged my collection has grown and my skill level improved. I even allow myself to dream about being a make-up artist, maybe working in a salon or at a make-up counter in a department store. For now, I'm happy working to cover the dark circles under my eyes and adding a little color and variety to my look. I love to do make-up 'lessons' for a Young Women activity or do make-overs at Girls Night Out, or girls night in.
Last night I googled mineral make-up and found these awesome tutorials, by a girl in England, on Youtube. I watched almost 2 hours worth of her tutorials, after the boys were asleep. I was in awe. She must have a desk covered in pots of colorful powders, because I don't remember seeing her use the same color more than once, with a few exceptions. You have to see for yourself. Make-up genius.
She has over 150 videos of different make-up looks. Lots of fun. Some are a bit dramatic for a stay at home mom, day look but you get the idea. I love this one!
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
Sling Fabrics
Here are the two fabrics side by side. I LOVE them! But you totally don't have to agree.
Monday, June 16, 2008
Who are you calling short??
I was at Walgreens looking at some make-up a few weeks ago. The 'beauty consultant' rushed over to help me. I was looking for nail polish and lipstick (I had some coupons and they had a sale). She grabbed a tube of mascara and said, "do NOT buy this, I've had lots of customers return it!".
Me; "okay thanks, what mascara do you recommend" (I was making polite small talk and engaging her about something she knew. BAD choice).
She squinted and looked right at my eyes. "Well I can tell you have really really REALLY short eyelashes, like me" (bats her eyes and blond microscopic lashes half painted black) "I'd recommend this one, it'll make you look like you have false eyelashes." I said, "thanks, I'll try that when my current tube runs out". And then bought what I came for and left quickly.
I've had experiences at make-up counters that would make most people drop their stuff where they stand and leave. I felt guilty (unnecessarily so) and bought the stuff anyway. But this day was different. I didn't buy her recommended mascara and my coupons made it so I actually made $$$ for buying the stuff, so it's different. Right?
Today, I put on mascara and noticed that my lashes were brushing against the insides ofmy sunglasses. And validated my thoughts that all those 'really's' were totally uncalled for.
Me; "okay thanks, what mascara do you recommend" (I was making polite small talk and engaging her about something she knew. BAD choice).
She squinted and looked right at my eyes. "Well I can tell you have really really REALLY short eyelashes, like me" (bats her eyes and blond microscopic lashes half painted black) "I'd recommend this one, it'll make you look like you have false eyelashes." I said, "thanks, I'll try that when my current tube runs out". And then bought what I came for and left quickly.
I've had experiences at make-up counters that would make most people drop their stuff where they stand and leave. I felt guilty (unnecessarily so) and bought the stuff anyway. But this day was different. I didn't buy her recommended mascara and my coupons made it so I actually made $$$ for buying the stuff, so it's different. Right?
Today, I put on mascara and noticed that my lashes were brushing against the insides ofmy sunglasses. And validated my thoughts that all those 'really's' were totally uncalled for.
Friday, June 13, 2008
Answered Prayers
I often feel silly praying to find something of a very temporal nature. Remember the stamp? I mean it isn't really a necessity for living and I haven't used it to fulfill a church duty, yet. But still it was important to me to find it. Partially because I wanted to use it and partly because I didn't like feeling so disorganized that I couldn't find it, or remember if I ever really bought it.
I have always been touched when the boys offer a simple, faith filled prayer to find a toy/shoe/game. The list could go on and on. And then their prayer seems to be answered almost instantly. We've never gone more than 30 minutes without finding something they've prayed to find.
I had nearly given up on finding that stamp. I was resolved that I'd dreamed of buying it and never really followed through. I told myself it wasn't important and that I couldn't really miss what I never had. A member of our ward bishopbric mentioned one night this week that he never really lost something, He just had put it in a very special spot and he'd find it when he had something of equal value to put in that very special safe spot.
I moved on.
Thanks to Julie who started this great Scripture Study group, We've been reading in Alma this week. It's the chapters they're covering in our Sunday School this coming Sunday. Since I'm in nursery every Sunday I love being able to have conversation and study to go with my reading. I love it.
Last night I was reading in chapter 7 verse 23 I got to the part where Alma says, ". .being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need , both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive." And my mind got called back to those stamps, only this time it was a prompting to look in a very specific place. One I hadn't thought of. It was a very logical place, it had been right under my nose and I had missed it. But God was mindful of me and my silly little stamp set.
This morning I was in my office/craftroom and it came again, the prompting to look. (I hadn't forgotten, but life has a way of distracting me at times). I knew when I heard myself ask, "why would it be there?" that it wasn't my own idea. I quickly ran to the spot, lifted out the drawer and there IT was, the package of stamps. I cheered and then quickly dropped to my knees to return thanks to my Father in Heaven.
I went outside to where the guys were. I told Lester the story of the stamps and then the experience I had while reading my scriptures. We talked. It was great, Gabe was there and was amazed at the way I'd received an answer to my prayers. I realized that I learned much more, than if I'd found it right after I had my prayer and had my testimony strengthened as to My Part. I thought turning the room upside down was enough to show I was willing to do and look and work. But it wasn't. I needed to make sure I was doing other things I was asked to do, to be prepared to hear the promptings. And I learned that things truly do happen in the Lord's time. Answers to prayer often require patience and quiet time and effort to improve other areas of our lives before we can be ready for the answers.
I realize that it is necessary for a child to get a quick answer, small experiences strengthen the testimony that Heavenly Father is mindful of them. I also realized that my own lack of preparation cannot hinder the answering of my children's prayers, but it does serve to eliminate me from the blessing of being a part of the answer or solution. There are so many things I do that I think are making me a better mother when in truth the simple and precious truths of the Gospel, scripture study and personal prayer can make me more than a better mother, they help me be the mother Heavenly Father knew I could be. And that is amazing.
I have always been touched when the boys offer a simple, faith filled prayer to find a toy/shoe/game. The list could go on and on. And then their prayer seems to be answered almost instantly. We've never gone more than 30 minutes without finding something they've prayed to find.
I had nearly given up on finding that stamp. I was resolved that I'd dreamed of buying it and never really followed through. I told myself it wasn't important and that I couldn't really miss what I never had. A member of our ward bishopbric mentioned one night this week that he never really lost something, He just had put it in a very special spot and he'd find it when he had something of equal value to put in that very special safe spot.
I moved on.
Thanks to Julie who started this great Scripture Study group, We've been reading in Alma this week. It's the chapters they're covering in our Sunday School this coming Sunday. Since I'm in nursery every Sunday I love being able to have conversation and study to go with my reading. I love it.
Last night I was reading in chapter 7 verse 23 I got to the part where Alma says, ". .being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need , both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive." And my mind got called back to those stamps, only this time it was a prompting to look in a very specific place. One I hadn't thought of. It was a very logical place, it had been right under my nose and I had missed it. But God was mindful of me and my silly little stamp set.
This morning I was in my office/craftroom and it came again, the prompting to look. (I hadn't forgotten, but life has a way of distracting me at times). I knew when I heard myself ask, "why would it be there?" that it wasn't my own idea. I quickly ran to the spot, lifted out the drawer and there IT was, the package of stamps. I cheered and then quickly dropped to my knees to return thanks to my Father in Heaven.
I went outside to where the guys were. I told Lester the story of the stamps and then the experience I had while reading my scriptures. We talked. It was great, Gabe was there and was amazed at the way I'd received an answer to my prayers. I realized that I learned much more, than if I'd found it right after I had my prayer and had my testimony strengthened as to My Part. I thought turning the room upside down was enough to show I was willing to do and look and work. But it wasn't. I needed to make sure I was doing other things I was asked to do, to be prepared to hear the promptings. And I learned that things truly do happen in the Lord's time. Answers to prayer often require patience and quiet time and effort to improve other areas of our lives before we can be ready for the answers.
I realize that it is necessary for a child to get a quick answer, small experiences strengthen the testimony that Heavenly Father is mindful of them. I also realized that my own lack of preparation cannot hinder the answering of my children's prayers, but it does serve to eliminate me from the blessing of being a part of the answer or solution. There are so many things I do that I think are making me a better mother when in truth the simple and precious truths of the Gospel, scripture study and personal prayer can make me more than a better mother, they help me be the mother Heavenly Father knew I could be. And that is amazing.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
I should be sleeping
But I can't. My mind is racing. I cleaned out a cupboard in our office and folded a bunch of fabric. And now I think I may be losing my mind. I could have sworn that I bought 2 yards of this really cute fabric and I cannot find it anywhere! Kind of like the cute stamps I am still looking for. I'm really not a disorganized person. But what is happening to all this stuff?
These shoes a metaphor for my life
*EDITOR's Note* Writer was very sleep deprived, you may need to be going on 4 hours of sleep to understand this post*I bought these totally adorable and cheap shoes while out on a Mom Time Out trip the other night. My husband was not with me. I don't think I've bought a pair of shoes without him since we married. And if I have, there is a very good chance that they were cute and impractical and painful to 'break in'.
See he doesn't believe a pair of shoes should require blisters of the wearer. He's always been an advocate of good shoes. His Father was the same way. He'd often remind his children; you only have one pair of feet, take care of them. My late father-in-law may have been the ultimate penny pincher but when it came to shoes, he spared no expense for a good pair of shoes. My husband is the same way.
As I was walking tonight (wearing these shoes, because I bought them and blisters be danged I am going to wear them!) I started thinking about how my shoe choices have changed since the beginning of my marriage. I began to draw some interesting parallels.
These Shoes remind me a lot of my pre-marriage years. Cute, practical looking, comfortable looking and a little off the cuff as far as 'fitting in' with other things.
Under the surface they reveal more, they may look comfortable and easy going but there is a lot of work that goes into making it look that way. They heel is stiff (my stubbornness) and must be broken in, there is little to no arch support and walking in them is more work than the average walk in the park. Keeping them on my feet as I walked put a lot of stress on them.
I'll still keep them, wear them with caution and be ever ever ever so grateful for the shoes my husband has helped me pick out and my bare feet.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Just ask!
People say this, "if you need anything, JUST ask" like it should be an easy thing. Maybe it is for some or even most people. It isn't for me.
I don't know where it came from, but I'm afraid to 'just ask' for pretty much anything. From anyone. I've actually improved a lot since being married to Lester. He won't stand for me cowering in the corner when I should be asking a sales associate to get me a pair of shoes from the top shelf.
I have the most difficult time asking for things that seem to put another person out for my sake. I hate it. I really really really hate it. But I've felt this way for so long I don't know how to think, feel or act any other way. AND the anxiety involved with asking makes me reconsider the worth of the thing I am asking for. Lots of times, it just isn't worth it.
I don't know where it came from, but I'm afraid to 'just ask' for pretty much anything. From anyone. I've actually improved a lot since being married to Lester. He won't stand for me cowering in the corner when I should be asking a sales associate to get me a pair of shoes from the top shelf.
I have the most difficult time asking for things that seem to put another person out for my sake. I hate it. I really really really hate it. But I've felt this way for so long I don't know how to think, feel or act any other way. AND the anxiety involved with asking makes me reconsider the worth of the thing I am asking for. Lots of times, it just isn't worth it.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
Take Deep Yoghurt Breaths
In. Out. In. Out. (A line my sweet Gabe used to say to remind himself to not get upset or scared).
The scouts are coming to my house. they're expecting a fun activity. I still have no clue how to do this. Please. Please. Please. Tell me I'll survive. And if I don't, bury the beads and jewelry with me. (that way I won't have to watch the fighting from heaven).
The scouts are coming to my house. they're expecting a fun activity. I still have no clue how to do this. Please. Please. Please. Tell me I'll survive. And if I don't, bury the beads and jewelry with me. (that way I won't have to watch the fighting from heaven).
Friday, May 30, 2008
I wear my heart
Tattooed to my arm. Permanently. No matter how hard I try to 'be tough' the emotions always show. I have become a little better at postponing emotion and hiding it when necessary but really, truly I'm still a super emotional person.
I used to think of it as a weakness. Sometimes I still do. But there must be some strength in it somewhere. I'm still looking for it.
I used to think of it as a weakness. Sometimes I still do. But there must be some strength in it somewhere. I'm still looking for it.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Ouch that really hurt!
Today Gabe told me I was a bad mom and that he hated me. I hope he actually meant that he hated that I was enforcing rules and following through with consequences.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
WHERE is it?
I searched every drawer and bin and bucket looking for some stamps I bought. They're the clear resin kind so they aren't mounted and apparently very easy to hide. I can't think of one more place to look, but my room is clean. And I discovered another stamp (not so small) that is hiding very well too.
If I go buy another set (if I can find them in stock anywhere) they'll show up tomorrow. But I'd rather find them. WHERE did they hide?
This is what the missing set of stamps look like. And THIS is the missing now found stamp.
Update: I found the larger, mounted stamp. Hurray! I also looked online to see what it would cost to replace the other set, $15 stamps and $10 (?!?!) to ship it. Did I mention it is smaller than a sheet of paper and less than 1/4 inch thick? That is a ridiculous shipping fee!!!!!!! But if I weigh the option of shopping with my 3, it actually seems reasonable. HOW crazy is that!?
Update #2: I'm starting to wonder if I really ever bought the stamps. I have looked for it in a lot of strange places and in some not so strange places several times. Did I buy them?? The strange thing is I can visualize myself opening the package and being excited to play with them, but I have no scrapbook/stamp proof that I ever used them. Did I dream it?
If I go buy another set (if I can find them in stock anywhere) they'll show up tomorrow. But I'd rather find them. WHERE did they hide?
This is what the missing set of stamps look like. And THIS is the missing now found stamp.
Update: I found the larger, mounted stamp. Hurray! I also looked online to see what it would cost to replace the other set, $15 stamps and $10 (?!?!) to ship it. Did I mention it is smaller than a sheet of paper and less than 1/4 inch thick? That is a ridiculous shipping fee!!!!!!! But if I weigh the option of shopping with my 3, it actually seems reasonable. HOW crazy is that!?
Update #2: I'm starting to wonder if I really ever bought the stamps. I have looked for it in a lot of strange places and in some not so strange places several times. Did I buy them?? The strange thing is I can visualize myself opening the package and being excited to play with them, but I have no scrapbook/stamp proof that I ever used them. Did I dream it?
I tripped across memory lane
I found something from my past on etsy. Strawberry Shortcake and her friends.
That seller has quite a few of them listed.
They were the first toy I remember. I am pretty sure I had all the dolls too. My parents used them as incentive for many things. I do believe I was potty trained with a whole slew of SS and friends as the reward.
I loved dressing them up, organizing and rearranging them with their animal friends and occasionally Sour Grapes and her boyfriend Purple Pieman would also wreck havoc on the barbies as well.
That seller has quite a few of them listed.
They were the first toy I remember. I am pretty sure I had all the dolls too. My parents used them as incentive for many things. I do believe I was potty trained with a whole slew of SS and friends as the reward.
I loved dressing them up, organizing and rearranging them with their animal friends and occasionally Sour Grapes and her boyfriend Purple Pieman would also wreck havoc on the barbies as well.
Running On Empty
My patience meter seems to be running in the red zone. I could really really really use a little recharge me time. But I have a gazillion things that have to be done in every spare second I can find. How do I sneak in a mini recharge without draining the battery further with post-recharge damage control and clean up???
Thursday, May 22, 2008
I Cheated!
Yep. I did. And I am unashamed.
It's all my children's fault. I've done laundry for two straight days!
My thanks goes out to my cousin Lloyd for his secret family recipe; Cousin Albert's Son for having the stuff I needed on Sale, The Pepperidge farmers for paying for it all (even some sanity saving chocolate and the crackers for the nursery) with those great little coupons. And my fabulous Rival crockpot for keeping it all a secret, just like a sister would.
Without them I'd be a raving lunatic tonight. And we'd be eating cold cereal for dinner.
It's all my children's fault. I've done laundry for two straight days!
My thanks goes out to my cousin Lloyd for his secret family recipe; Cousin Albert's Son for having the stuff I needed on Sale, The Pepperidge farmers for paying for it all (even some sanity saving chocolate and the crackers for the nursery) with those great little coupons. And my fabulous Rival crockpot for keeping it all a secret, just like a sister would.
Without them I'd be a raving lunatic tonight. And we'd be eating cold cereal for dinner.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
A moment of Clarity
Being the Mom was hard today. Really really hard. Thank you Laurie for reminding me that someday the little boys who got dirty enough for 3 baths today, will be grown up and rarely around. And I'll wish for the days when they couldn't get enough play time with me and they were literally following my every footstep.
I'm sure you're right. But right now, I'm really glad they're sleeping peacefully and that it's too dark to go in their room and sort out a load of laundry.
I'm sure you're right. But right now, I'm really glad they're sleeping peacefully and that it's too dark to go in their room and sort out a load of laundry.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Etsy Love
Check this out.
I regularly cruise etsy for fun jewelry ideas and sewing projects. Today I found this and it made me laugh.
I was a buxom teenager, wearing my first real underwire bra in 5th grade. And I can so totally appreciate that button. Wish I'd had one of those and the guts to go with it back then. Because pregnancy and nursing have changed that part of me so much that if I were to wear it now it'd receive snickers instead of respect.
I regularly cruise etsy for fun jewelry ideas and sewing projects. Today I found this and it made me laugh.
I was a buxom teenager, wearing my first real underwire bra in 5th grade. And I can so totally appreciate that button. Wish I'd had one of those and the guts to go with it back then. Because pregnancy and nursing have changed that part of me so much that if I were to wear it now it'd receive snickers instead of respect.
I LOVE my Friends
I really do. They bring me great joy and laughter. They teach me new things and often become a sounding board for my random blatherings. I have great friends.
And yet I struggle with my friendships. I can be that 'flaky friend' when I'm depressed and hiding from the world. I can be the 'needy friend' when I'm struggling to pull myself out of a dark place. I can be that annoying friend who won't stop leaving you messages even when you don't want to talk. I can also be the friend that surprises you with a treat, just because it's Tuesday. I can be the friend that calls and offers something to do just when you thought no one noticed you were missing.
I think my biggest struggle is with knowing when to let go. Is there such a time? When the friendship has served it's purpose and the only place it lives is in the memories and the way they helped you grow? Is there a time when calling doesn't help, only hurts what would be a memory of a great friend? I think for me the answer has always been no. And that has had heartbreaking results at times. Maybe the answer needs to be sometimes and for some situations, yes. I've always loved this poem.
I take comfort in knowing that the full effects of friendships are not limited to this life alone. At the same time it makes the circumstances of recently lost friendships so much more heartbreaking. I wish I could know now the answers to my questions. The things I would ask my friends (I am still their friend, it is no longer returned from their end) would relieve my heart of so much. Or maybe it wouldn't. I just have to trust the answers I've received from the one person who knows more than any of us.
I thought when I got married the hurt of 'breaking up' would be over. But being dumped by a great friend hurts so much more than being dumped by some dumb guy.
And yet I struggle with my friendships. I can be that 'flaky friend' when I'm depressed and hiding from the world. I can be the 'needy friend' when I'm struggling to pull myself out of a dark place. I can be that annoying friend who won't stop leaving you messages even when you don't want to talk. I can also be the friend that surprises you with a treat, just because it's Tuesday. I can be the friend that calls and offers something to do just when you thought no one noticed you were missing.
I think my biggest struggle is with knowing when to let go. Is there such a time? When the friendship has served it's purpose and the only place it lives is in the memories and the way they helped you grow? Is there a time when calling doesn't help, only hurts what would be a memory of a great friend? I think for me the answer has always been no. And that has had heartbreaking results at times. Maybe the answer needs to be sometimes and for some situations, yes. I've always loved this poem.
Footprints on the Heart
By Flavia
Some people come into our lives and quickly go.
Some people move our souls to dance.
They awaken us to new understanding
with the passing whisper of their wisdom.
Some people make the sky more beautiful to gaze upon.
They stay in our lives for awhile,
leave footprints on our hearts
And we are never, ever the same.
I take comfort in knowing that the full effects of friendships are not limited to this life alone. At the same time it makes the circumstances of recently lost friendships so much more heartbreaking. I wish I could know now the answers to my questions. The things I would ask my friends (I am still their friend, it is no longer returned from their end) would relieve my heart of so much. Or maybe it wouldn't. I just have to trust the answers I've received from the one person who knows more than any of us.
I thought when I got married the hurt of 'breaking up' would be over. But being dumped by a great friend hurts so much more than being dumped by some dumb guy.
Still waters run deep
I've always loved this thought. But never exemplified it. I talk way too often and think after I speak more than I'd like to admit. I rehash conversations, regret things I've said and wish I had more time to say what I was really thinking. I plan conversations before they ever happen. My mind is full and my mouth runneth over. And yet, I consider myself somewhat shy.
I started my other blog to remember my children's lives as they are and sometimes I think about posting a thought and then stop, because if my children were to read it would they see happy childhood memories remembered or a stressed mother's rantings and emotional outbursts???
I think they can be separate, without denying that either part exists at exactly the same time. Thoughts coming from two parts of me and yet still equaling the same whole.
I started my other blog to remember my children's lives as they are and sometimes I think about posting a thought and then stop, because if my children were to read it would they see happy childhood memories remembered or a stressed mother's rantings and emotional outbursts???
I think they can be separate, without denying that either part exists at exactly the same time. Thoughts coming from two parts of me and yet still equaling the same whole.
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