Self Discovery

I have learned a valuable lesson. It is easier to stay caught up with journaling/blogging than it is to start up again after you've slacked off for a time.

I don't have the get up and go to even think about writing much today, so even a little bit is a big success.

Lester and I spoke in church yesterday. It has been a long time since I've spoken in sacrament meeting. We had 3 days notice. Not much time for me, I usually plan and agonize for a week or more and practice a gazillion times a day. I hate public speaking, but you wouldn't know it by hearing me speak in public. I've been told that you can't tell I'm nervous, at all.

Yesterday was no exception. I was a bundle of nerves, to the point of being sick to my stomach. I remember thinking to myself, breath. Don't forget to breath. Look at the audience. Stick to my script. Try not to notice the man sleeping in the back. Keep a prayer in your heart. Don't be afraid to say something not in the script if prompted. And then it was over.

Lester had a look of complete shock when I turned around. I checked my dress, I wasn't mooning the bishopric was I? Were there mascara streaks on my cheeks? Was it really bad? He answered my questions, "that was amazing!". And then he said, "you're so funny, stressing out about it and then blowing everyone away with that great talk. To think I was worried for you. Very nice job."

So what did I say? Is there a taping of it? Because I feel like 'I' didn't have much to do with it. That is the amazing part about teaching by the spirit. Sometimes all it takes is a talkative someone to be willing to try and think up something so-so to say but be open to saying whatever the spirit prompts.