Random Bits

1. Do you like blue cheese? Yes. Especially in my summer lemon salad. Delish!
2. Have you ever smoked a cigarette? Nope, but once when I was pregnant I dreamed I was trying to quit smoking and couldn't. I kept telling everyone I was craving a cigarette. Scariest part, I could smell cigarette smoke in my dream and totally thought it was real. I had to have my husband remind me that I wasn't a smoker. He was none to happy about being woken at 3 am.
3. Do you own a gun? Not me personally.
4. What flavor do you add to your drink at Sonic? Ice and more ice. Matter of fact forget the drink and bring me a cup of slightly wet ice.
5. Do you get nervous before doctor appointment? No
6. What do you think of hot dogs? I like them, if I don't think about it too much.
7. Favorite Christmas Song? This one that I sang in the Ward Christmas Program the ONE year I sang with them. I love it so, but I can't remember the name.
8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water
9. Can you do push-ups? Uh, yeah. Remember last Wednesday and Friday, I had to do 200 of them? My back and shoulders and arms have just started to forgive me.
10. What is your favorite movie? I don't have a current one. When I was 12 I rented Troop Beverly Hills every Friday for 6 months. And then in college Julie and I watched Fools Rush In like every Friday and Saturday and Sunday and Monday for like 3 months straight.
11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? My wedding ring. But I don't always wear it. I also have lots of 2nd favorite pieces too.
12. Favorite hobby? Blogging and jewelry making and cooking and scrapbooking and organizing and and and exercising.
13. Do you work with people who idolize you? Um no. Most days I'm the mean un-fun mom
14. Do you have ADD? No. Yes. What was the question? See #12 I think yes, how else would I explain my lack of ability to stick to one task long enough to finish? Unless it counts that I usually stop when someone interrupts and needs something else and I forget what I was doing previously and find some other half finished thing to work on.
15. What’s one trait that you hate about yourself? My lack of trust in my own opinions.
16. What’s your middle name? Renae
17. Name three thoughts at this moment: What am I making for dinner? How many scouts will come today? Why am I typing on my blog instead of making dinner and getting ready for the scouts?
18. Name 3 things you bought yesterday: 70 cent chocolate chips! (seriously! Albertsons when you buy 10 bags)
19. Current worry right now? If I make jewelry and list it on Etsy, will people buy it???? Do I trust USPS enough to put my business deliveries in their hands?
21. Current hate right now? (hey! Where was question #20?) Aunt Flo. I'll agree with Cheryl on both accounts
22. Favorite place to be? With good friends/family.
23. How did you bring in the New Year? I can't remember!
24. Where would you like to go? Fiji, Australia and/or New Zealand, followed by Samoa
25. Name three people who will complete this? No idea. Three people with time on their hands? Or three people with NO time on their hands? Like me?
26. Whose answer do you want to read the most? Anyone
27. What color shirt are you wearing? Turquoise and leopard print. Seriously. With purple pants. I still haven't changed out of my workout clothes. Good thing though I've been running around all day.
28. Do you like sleeping on satin sheets? I would surely fall right out of bed. I prefer 1000 thread count cotton
29. Can you whistle? Yep
30. Favorite color? I love every color. Especially RED and purple
31. Would you be a pirate? Aside from the stealing, sure they have great treasure chests of jewelry
32. What songs do you sing in the shower? John Mayer, waiting on the world (to change) great acoustics in the shower
33. Favorite girl’s name? Savannah
34. Favorite boy’s name? Jeremiah
35. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing
36. Last thing (Person) that made you laugh? Elijah wearing a neck full of our lanyard samples
37. Best bed sheets as a child? Mickey Mouse
38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? Once, while attending Culinary School, I nearly lost my right thumb to a chainsaw while doing an ice sculpture.
39. What is your favorite snack? Cheese and water.
40. Favorite thing to do on Sundays? Have a 'cheat' meal.
41. Who is your loudest friend? I dunno? Maybe it's me.
42. How many dogs do you have? Two. A welsh corgi named Sydney and a big black retriever named Ratu (Fijian for Big Chief)
43. Does someone have a crush on you? My husband. He thinks I'm a babe.
45. What is your favorite book? (where was #44?) Too tough to answer. So many factors.
46. What is your favorite candy? Homemade caramels or homemade fudge (particularly candy cane, coconut with almonds, caramel pecan and cookies and cream)
47. What is your favorite sports team? Cougars
48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Families can Be together Forever
49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Sleeping.
50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? Wow! This is the closest I've come to falling off the bed without actually falling!

Self Doubt

Dangit. It sneaks in and seems to wait for a weak moment.

Waiting for that moment when you give it a millimeter of crawl space to get inside your head, once there it breeds like wild fire. Burning it's way through every accomplishment and positive thought you worked so hard to earn. There is usually no way to put out the flames, only hope that you put all the important stuff in the compartment labled fire-proof. And then you spend a good portion of your time trying to recover all you lost and build on that which was safe, because acknowledging strengths is like a giant stepping block to rebuilding weaknesses.

Depression related hormones or the lack there of can fuel the fire, not today thank goodness. But ouch! I've got smoke coming out my ears and tears in my eyes (if only I could find a way syphon them back inside my head they could help with the flames).

Holy Smokes

If I don't return by tomorrow, someone please check the treadmill. I may be underneath it by the end of the workout.

On tap for today:

• 25 Push Ups
• 25 Sit Ups
• 25 Lunges
• 400 Meter Run

Repeat cycle 8 times

Umm....How on earth?? They just doubled the reps for sit ups and push ups and added in lunges (I'll be doing 200 of each!) Don't be thinking that the repeat 8 times got by on me.

Random Thoughts. . .with direction

I have been posting some comments to a blog I love to visit the writer asks thought provoking questions, I've been answering and realized I wanted to keep those thoughts where I could find them. So I'm going to cut and paste and put them here too. I may or may not add in a brief synopsis of the questions posted and I may or may not expound upon my thoughts immediately but I do need to keep them and have them to read again. Thanks Cheryl for making me think.

On Waiting for Blessings and Answered Prayers
9/21-Oh boy can I say amen to the waiting. I've been 'in waiting' (not the pregnant kind) for a few certain blessings and prayers to be answered for what seems like forever.

And every time I start to feel like I'm not being heard the answer has come loud and clear, "I know what you need and I'm working on it." In the mean time I'm learning so much, I've realized that in the waiting periods of life, I've grown the most and gained the most trust for my Heavenly Father and his plan for my life. And occasionally I've been granted an exceptional amount of 'keep me busy work' to help pass the time.

I was released from YW's 3 years ago, I was so sad. I discovered I was pregnant the day of our last Girl's Camp visit. And I knew it was time for something different.

I didn't get a calling until 4 months ago. That is such a long period to go without a calling (for me) but it was necessary and helpful and I had lots of opportunities to serve. Then, I was given Nursery and Cub Scouts all in the same Sunday, Yikes!


On Depression and Blogging the bad times
It's a fine line between sympathy, for a miserable illness that makes you feel nutty ,and allowing yourself to wallow in self pity. A place that for me only gets deeper the longer I allow myself to stay.

As a depressed person, I'm not as clearly able to see that line and waltzing right over it is a cinch.

Being able to explain away those feelings makes you see clearly what in your minds eye is often, too often a jumbled up mess. Thinking out loud to a friend be it online or in person can help make sense of those things.

And for those of us who love you too, it's venting, it's thinking out loud, it's trying to figure out what all those thoughts are doing to your emotional health. It is not complaining at all.

I think that if most people knew what depression felt like there would be more empathy and understanding and less judgment and criticism. And that in turn would make it easier to deal with the depression monster.

1:47 PM, September 18, 2008

Muscles I didn't know I had

Are screaming out at me, "how could you forget us!". They aren't injuries, just forgotten muscles remembering how it feels to be knock down, sweat-out, pushed to the limit, tired. The miraculous thing occurs when I stretch and have a smart breakfast; my energy returns and surpasses that of a day without exercise.

I'm on POST survival training week 3. I am already feeling stronger, lighter and faster even if the scale is not on my side. I finished today's workout in 49 minutes, flat.

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

I love fortune cookies, not because they taste great but because the words inside always seem to apply. It could be that the creators are great at generalized advice, wisdom and thoughts or it could be that I read into things way too much. Or it could be neither and it was imperative that I eat Chinese food the Saturday before I was approached to do Market Day.

The fortune inside put my mind on the track of willing to try something new and potentially 'scary'.

It Read: A ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why ships are built.

My husband said, "That couldn't have been more perfect for you, you need to do something 'scary' because you have the ability you just have to put it out there."

3 hours 15 minutes 26 seconds

That's exactly how long it took me to finish today. I forgot to stop the stopwatch. I started late. Did one round of 50's and half my run. Had to get the elementary kid to school. Go get some 90 cent oatmeal and 40 cent boxes of granola bars (Albertsons Quaker sale!) . Then I got two more kids to school. Then I finally made my way back downstairs and climbed on the treadmill. Ran .75 mile. Did another round of 50's (squats, sit ups, push ups) back on the tread mill for a mile and done. I was dripping with sweat and the craziest part? I LOVED it!

My mp3 player is broken so my extra special thanks go out to Christy and Lauren for the awesome music playlists on their blogs. Our downstairs computer is right by the treadmmill, I loaded their pages and had inspiring music through the whole workout. And extra inspiration from Lauren's amazing figure transformation. She looks hot! And I can tell she's been working her tail off.

Kick my Can Workout-Week 2

I was slightly sore last week. Not terribly so. I was feeling good. Wimpy but good.

This morning was rough! The workout is exactly the same as far as numbers go, they're just squished into 2 intervals instead of 4. That means 50 squats (!) 50 push ups (!!) 50 sit ups (!!!!!!) and then 1 mile run. Rinse. Repeat. It took me 54:09 to complete. Too much of that time was spent mentally whining about 50! 50??? Yes 50 of everything, all at once! My abs are so weak, 50 sit ups in a row threatened to get the better of me. Instead, I just thought about the next 5 and I did it! 5 at a time.

It's a madhouse around here

Go check out why.

I'm hosting another giveaway to celebrate. Don't forget to leave a comment to be entered to win some fun jewelry prizes!

Cadet Survival Training

That may sound daunting. And it is. I just got a kick butt workout routine that lasts 16 weeks. It's the training program the POST puts all potential police cadets through. I am on week 1. I will follow the regimen Monday/Wednesday/Friday and occasionally Saturday (make-up day or later, as a test day). I'll continue to do my turbo jam on the other two days of the week, because it's fun and every workout schedule has to allow for fun, once in a while. Plus it's a great workout, burns close to 1000 calories/hour.

This week: 25 air squats, 25 push ups, 25 sit ups, 50ft broad jumps, run 800meters (.5 mile) REPEAT 4 times. You keep your start to finish time and later on check your fitness level by running the first week routine and checking your time against the first day. My time 58:46. It was a killer, but I lived! I have laundry tomorrow and have to do stairs 6 times, at least. It'll be the true test of soreness.

I'm curious if the Survival training refers to only the tough 'survive' the 16 weeks or by the time you live through the 16 weeks you are said to be able to survive anything.

T is for Tuesdays and Turbo Jam

I have a fun routine, Tuesday's and Thursday's we meet up with some friends and do Turbo Jam (Cardio party 3, for those wondering). It is so much fun. The boys get to run around and play with other kids and the mom's get some stress-busting, sweat-dripping, fat-burning, booty shakin', kick-butt cardio! I LOVE it!

And the boys love playing with MoMo as they call him.

A step in the right direction

A whole mile of 'em.

I went running this morning. The air was crisp and clean. The temperature perfect. My resolve, focused.

I have mapped out some local streets into 1, 1.5, 2, 3 and 5 mile runs. I decided to go the 1.5, it could easily be modified to a 1 if the dark clouds in the distance threatened to rain on my parade, so to speak.

I saw so many cool things.

First, a neighbor returning from her run. She inspires me that age does not dictate anything but a number if you let it.

Second, another neighbor walking, She is so sincere, caring and sensitive. She says she loves everyone, during her testimony, and she lives it.

Next I saw a street lined with US Flags. Beautiful sight. It reminded me of the rows and rows of flags lining the streets of Sugar City when we went for my cousins funeral. He was killed during 9/11. Such a touching tribute. I'm glad it started sprinkling, my tears were able to blend right in.

My thoughts were interrupted by a ferocious attack dog, he noticed me from the porch and came charging at me. Lucky for me he was attached to a cord attached to the banister. And his 5.5pound self wasn't strong enough to free him, although his determination may have been.

The next thing I noticed made me laugh. A shopping cart, parked protectively under the stairwell of an apartment. I wonder if the owner's name was written on it?

As I came to the deciding point, 1 or 1.5 miles I noticed a huge black cloud. The black cloud told me I wasn't running fast enough and I had better pick it up or I'd never get home mostly dry. The cloud sprinkled, as if testing my will. I ran. I named the cloud Jillian, after my favorite biggest loser trainer. Jillian meant business. I picked up the pace and ran, she meant run faster. So I did. I have never made such good time on .5 mile. I got safely to the porch and rain started to fall fast and hard, I knocked. Who locked me out? I knocked again. Still no one let me in.

I ran for the spare key. I got totally soaked. As I ran to return it, the hail started to pelt me. Wow. Jillian wasn't kidding around. It rained and hailed like the sky was falling for about 15 minutes. I would've looked like a drenched rat if I'd stayed on the 1.5 mile course. Thanks Jillian for kicking my can home!